Updated to add: We got the call. I’ll be headed to Miami (I don’t remember which hospital) and will meet with the surgeon Friday morning. They will probably run some tests Friday. Depending on what he thinks, I may be able to come home (or maybe even go on part of the vacation?) until Monday. It’s likely that I’ll have the surgery Tuesday. I’ll let you know once I know more details. Thank you all for your kindness, prayers, and support.
Okay. It’s, apparently, time for a little heart-to-heart. One that I wasn’t expecting to have. Ever.
There’s no easy way to say this, so let me just dive in. Remember that MRI I had last night? Well I was planning to tell you all about it today. I was going to tell you how freezing cold the room was, how nice the lady was, and how it all went well.
I was going to explain that we wouldn’t know the results until Thursday morning when I went to see the doctor. I was going to say, once again, that I was hoping for some answers. Hoping and praying for answers that would be fixable. Easily fixable.
I have answers. Not all the answers, but the MRI showed what’s been causing me to feel such horrible neck pain as well as why I’ve gotten so dizzy and thrown up so much.
I have a brain tumor.
My mom and I went to the doctor earlier this afternoon…He didn’t want to wait until tomorrow. We don’t know much about it, except that it must be operated on as soon as possible.
We’re waiting for the call to find out when we must go to the hospital, what hospital we’ll be going to, etc. We should be leaving tonight or early tomorrow. I will have surgery within the next few days.
They’ll have to shave at least part of my hair.
I love my hair. It sounds so ridiculous to be sad about THAT…but I am. I have senior year coming up and senior pictures. I’ve had them planned for a while now. And I plan to be HERE for my senior year.
I’ll probably miss camp. I’m SO bummed about that. My church has youth camp every year..and I’ve gone since 3rd grade. Junior and Senior year is always really special because of an activity that you get to do the last night. I’m praying that I can at least be well enough to attend the last night of camp.
Surprisingly, I haven’t cried that much. I cried watching my mom cry. It’s hitting her really hard. She couldn’t even tell my brothers so I told them instead. I think my dad is just trying to be strong.
I’m okay. I really am. I’m sad and bummed. I’ve cried and I’m curious as to what all this will mean. Like I said, we don’t know very much. I’m not “allowed” to tell anyone because mom doesn’t want to worry everyone when we don’t know very much. But I had to tell you all. I had to just get it out there.
I don’t know if I’ll be blogging again before we leave, because we could get the call at any moment. I most likely won’t be blogging throughout the process. But when I get back home (and it’ll probably be at least 1-2 weeks), I’ll update you all.
Because I plan to come back home.
I love Him and I know where I’ll go if He calls me home. But I’m not ready to go there yet. I have so much more life that I want to live.
Please please please know that I’m not that scared. He already knew this would happen. He knows how long the tumor has been there, and He knows if it’s cancer or not. Only HE can heal me.
I trust Him. No matter what happens, I trust Him completely.
Please join me in praying for the doctor who will be performing my surgery. Please pray for my parents and brothers; especiallly my mom. Pray that my brothers will still get to go on vacation next week (we were all looking forward to going, but obviously that is not still possible). Pray that my brothers will do GREAT in the state baseball tournament that they’ve made it to. I’m bummed I won’t get to see them play. Please pray for strength and lots of wisdom. Pray for my health. As silly as it sounds, please pray that I get to keep most of my hair and that I get to go to part of camp.
Please pray that I will have a happy, positive attitude. And that I’ll keep trusting my Healer through all of this. If I didn’t have Him, I don’t know how I’d be doing through all of this. It’s not what we were expecting to hear today, but we’re going to be aggresive and get this thing gone.
I don’t need a lot of, “I’m so sorry; how horrible!” comments. If you want to leave comments, please go right ahead. But I don’t need the attention. What I want from you all, more than anything, is your prayers. I want to be a light through all of this that JESUS is important. He’s my Healer and I trust Him regardless of what happens.