Tonight we gather for Five Minute Friday. We let the words spill out fresh, believing that it doesn’t have to be perfect. These are my five minutes on truth.
I’m pretty sure my heart is about to bleed out red onto this page.
There are so many lies I believe. They have faces and voices and seem so very real, as if I can reach right out and touch them. They scream loud in my head and the piercing is unrelenting, not with exclamation marks but with periods, as if they are facts that cannot be proven false.
You will never truly be loved.
Your very best is not good enough.
You, who you are at the very core, is just not good.
You will not meet expectations.
You are not beautiful.
You are just a place holder, a person to love for a season before someone better comes along.
They ring loud and they ring true in my ears. If I stop to listen, slow down enough to hear, they begin to seep in and become the pattern of my every day. I get a grade back and it’s just not high enough – I will strive to do better. I look in the mirror and decide maybe another outfit would look better because this one just won’t do.
When they pierce the air and prick the skin I can hear them settle down deep inside and I want to shout with all that is in me MAKE IT STOP.
Everything inside shakes and maybe the earth even quakes because it’s the beginning of the daily battle to replace lies with truth.
I sat with my hands wide open tonight as the music washed over. After two weeks of barely slowing down to even fall asleep at night, there was a two hour break to simply sit in worship and stand to give praise. There were walls up but doors wide open and He came right in as the words fell down like rain over this weary heart of mine.
It doesn’t matter who I’ve been or who I am or what will come because I am found in Him – and that makes me His daughter, His beloved. Storms will come, waters will rise and the boat is going to rock.
Seasons change but He remains.
The best way to get rid of the lies is to replace them with truth.
When the words sting and my heart shakes I am not a captive to the lies, I am freed when I run to the Truth.
There is nothing good in me and that can only be humbling when held up in light of Who He is and who He declares me to be.
Loved. Just as I am.
Just hours from hearing it washed over me my heart is crying out and with open hands I sing these words right back to Him, thanking Him for grace and freedom from all the chains.
Here’s my heart, Lord.
Here’s my heart, Lord.
Here’s my heart, Lord.
Speak what is true.
