There are a lot of encouraging words spread around my room. Verses and quotes that inspire and remind me of Whose I am. I need these. They’re daily reminders to a heart that easily entangles itself in worry and questions and doubts.
Beloved, God chose you from the beginning.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
In all things God works for the good of those who love Him.
And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.
They’re all pretty and encouraging, but as I looked around my room today, the natural sunlight playing against the pieces of artwork, I sensed a theme running beneath the nice words.
I want to make a difference for God. I want to dream big dreams and trust Him to carry me, lead me, show me the way. I deeply desire to love as He has called me to love. And I desperately want to believe all of this is possible, and so I set up reminders for my eyes to find when my heart needs remembering… because right now there are a lot of unknowns knocking on that pretend door of my heart.
I’ve been trying to ignore the sounds, ignore the knocking. But maybe today we could just talk about those questions instead?
I’ll be graduating next month. There are more unknowns in my life than ever before. Everyone has questions and I have no answers. It’s all meant kindly, of course, and I’m incredibly grateful to have a community of people who care so deeply about me. But at the end of the day, the truth is I just don’t know.
Maybe you don’t, either?
I don’t know where I’ll live, what I’ll do, how I’ll pay the bills, if I’ll have roommates, if my degree will even be of use, how I’ll manage to make a new group of friends, or how I’ll keep up with my people that are currently just a dorm away.
I could circle through those all day long but I just end up crying and not in that ‘oh, isn’t that cute? look at that one dainty tear drop slipping from the corner of her eye’ way. No sir, mention the word graduation and I become a blubbering mess as the worries creep in.
When we stop praying we start worrying. So I’m talking and listening and finding truth in Who He is in my situation. Because although my situation may change and new worries will likely present themselves, God will not change one iota.