:: Edited note at the bottom ::
2015 has been good. But this particular week of it? Not so much. Relationships broke and I’ve watched another disintegrate while stuck behind glass doors, begging for a way to get through without cutting myself split wide. Plans are being made, promises are being broken, I’m dressing up for dances and pouring coffee in the morning because I didn’t sleep at night.
It’s normal and it’s different and it’s life right now. It’s a rush of things competing with a million emotions.
The words type out on this screen but I backspace them all. One by one they disappear. Nothing is right, nothing captures it all.
The story isn’t shaping out how I wanted it to. It isn’t the chapter I would have chosen and I’d really like to flip the page or maybe even go back a few.
But maybe this is just a paragraph. Maybe the days that feel like chapters are only paragraphs, maybe even just a sentence or two, in a wide-sweeping love story written just for us.
It sounds too magical to be true, but maybe we’ve lost a bit of the fairy-tale hopes. The world is beautiful. Do we stop and see it?
I don’t know. I think we miss it most days, so I’m looking for the moments. I just don’t want to miss them.
Today is April 16th.
On May 16th I’ll walk a stage in a cap and gown.
It will be okay. But for today, I’m not.
And that is okay.
Because I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I trust the One who holds it.
“It’s just five minutes. You can make time for that. You need to make time. It doesn’t have to be perfect, doesn’t have to read like poetry, and it doesn’t even have to be pretty.”
I told myself that a few minutes before jotting these words down. Goodness alive, the past week has been a nightmare and a half. But tomorrow. Tomorrow. It’s coming and He’s already there.
Tonight I’m joining the Five Minute Friday crew and writing for five minutes – no edits (clearly) – on the word “tomorrow.”
Edited note: Hey my peeps. After stepping away for a little bit and reading back through this, I’ve decided two things. One) I don’t want to delete this. It is real and honest and raw and right where I’m at. And maybe someone else is there too and needs to know they aren’t alone. Two) It’s important that I write this here note and let you know I’m okay. Really. This week has not been a fun one by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m okay and God is good and He is more than enough.
When the prompt goes up we write for five minutes. Then we stop and publish, no edits. It’s often a raw piece of writing because we write our first thoughts, first words, in response to the prompt. These were mine. Today is now yesterday’s tomorrow and God is still good. So thank you for the prayers, for joining me in the comments, for loving on my heart from across computer screens, and for understanding we don’t wear masks in this place. Xoxo.