:: Edited note at the bottom ::
2015 has been good. But this particular week of it? Not so much. Relationships broke and I’ve watched another disintegrate while stuck behind glass doors, begging for a way to get through without cutting myself split wide. Plans are being made, promises are being broken, I’m dressing up for dances and pouring coffee in the morning because I didn’t sleep at night.
It’s normal and it’s different and it’s life right now. It’s a rush of things competing with a million emotions.
The words type out on this screen but I backspace them all. One by one they disappear. Nothing is right, nothing captures it all.
The story isn’t shaping out how I wanted it to. It isn’t the chapter I would have chosen and I’d really like to flip the page or maybe even go back a few.
But maybe this is just a paragraph. Maybe the days that feel like chapters are only paragraphs, maybe even just a sentence or two, in a wide-sweeping love story written just for us.
It sounds too magical to be true, but maybe we’ve lost a bit of the fairy-tale hopes. The world is beautiful. Do we stop and see it?
I don’t know. I think we miss it most days, so I’m looking for the moments. I just don’t want to miss them.
Today is April 16th.
On May 16th I’ll walk a stage in a cap and gown.
It will be okay. But for today, I’m not.
And that is okay.
Because I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I trust the One who holds it.
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“It’s just five minutes. You can make time for that. You need to make time. It doesn’t have to be perfect, doesn’t have to read like poetry, and it doesn’t even have to be pretty.”
I told myself that a few minutes before jotting these words down. Goodness alive, the past week has been a nightmare and a half. But tomorrow. Tomorrow. It’s coming and He’s already there.
Tonight I’m joining the Five Minute Friday crew and writing for five minutes – no edits (clearly) – on the word “tomorrow.”
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Edited note: Hey my peeps. After stepping away for a little bit and reading back through this, I’ve decided two things. One) I don’t want to delete this. It is real and honest and raw and right where I’m at. And maybe someone else is there too and needs to know they aren’t alone. Two) It’s important that I write this here note and let you know I’m okay. Really. This week has not been a fun one by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m okay and God is good and He is more than enough.
When the prompt goes up we write for five minutes. Then we stop and publish, no edits. It’s often a raw piece of writing because we write our first thoughts, first words, in response to the prompt. These were mine. Today is now yesterday’s tomorrow and God is still good. So thank you for the prayers, for joining me in the comments, for loving on my heart from across computer screens, and for understanding we don’t wear masks in this place. Xoxo.
K-
You are a sensitive soul, and God loves that! I’m looking back on my college days through you, and I saw relationships fall apart then be reunited. My now husband and I broke up when he graduated ahead of me…I was so broken…months later…we reunited. God has a way of healing brokenness.
This we know…broken can be perfected in grace, forgiveness, acceptance, and in the Father’s hand we walk one day at a time. Some are easier than others! I’ll be praying for you as you finish up this final known school chapter for the next ones of full on adulthood! You will be GREAT! God has placed a hard working, big loving lady, and a dear heart next to a bunch of women who are walking by you and praying for you! Have a lovely weekend. <3, Jenn FMF
Psalm 29:11
God makes his people strong. God gives his people peace.
I love that verse – thank you for sharing it!
SEnding You a Great big hug. Tomorrow is a new day. And in the infamous words of Bob Marley – every little thing’s gonna be alright. ❤️
Sending a hug your way and praying for you as you get ready to step into the next chapter God has for you!
xoxo {so thankful for you}
Your tomorrows are going to be full of beautiful, amazing things! I know it all seems uncertain and (maybe a little) scary, but you’ll look back at this time and be grateful for everything. Because your path is going to be a wonderful story, one of follow God and obeying in the times where you don’t know what the next step is.
Kaitlyn, love your heart girl! I agree that sometimes we get caught up in life and want the story to end out like we want it too. But God knows how the story goes doesn’t he? Prayers as you transition and prayers that you have a better week.
Yep, this: “It’s just five minutes. You can make time for that. You need to make time. It doesn’t have to be perfect, doesn’t have to read like poetry, and it doesn’t even have to be pretty.”
Glad you linked up and let a little something out. Like Marie, I don’t know all that is going on – and I don’t know what it’s like to graduate from college – but I do know change, and how overwhelming it can be. Praying tonight will be restful and tomorrow morning the coffee is a want instead of a need.
This morning coffee was a want instead of a need (love how you put that) so thank you for those prayers.
I always appreciate the depth of wisdom and insight I find whenever I click into your space. Grace and strength to you for these final weeks, and beyond. Thank you for taking the time to write and link up. You bless.
Thank you for those words… so kind.
Oh sweet girl, it’s a crazy time of life…getting ready to leave a place you love and facing a future that may seem uncertain. And many of your friends are going through the same thing at the same time. So glad that you know Who holds your future because with that knowledge, you are going to be okay. Look for the ways He is shaping each day for you. Much love!
Kaitlyn!
Oh I am so delighted to have you back for a Friday (I have actually been looking for your face every time I post)…and I ache that you are hurting. You have made many of my tomorrows bright by helping me to look for them when today is causing me to ache and grieve.
And, I love you.
Lord-willing, I will get to meet you face-to-face on this side of heaven, but until then, I am so thankful you are taking five tonight. You are a gift and so is your writing.
(hugs)
~Tammy
Tammy that’s so kind of you! I typically have bible study or a meeting every Thursday night so it’s pulled me away. Glad to be back for a week!
Oh, honey. I don’t know what’s going on but I do know about the difficulty of graduating from college. And that entails. I pray that you sense God holding you close tonight!