UPDATED to add: The official book page is , if you’d like to visit, learn more, and download a few printables!
For the past several months, I’ve scribbled and edited and written this blog post in my head. I’ve imagined it beginning several ways but although every draft stored in my head is all right, nothing feels just right. There are so many things to say, but it comes down to this:
I wrote a book.
(ALL THE SHOUTS AND YELLING AND JUMPING JACKS.)
Are you freaking out? Because I am freaking out. I’m pretty sure I could scream and/or pee my pants at any given moment.
In just a few months, Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between will be available for purchase. No big deal.
I never, ever set out to write this book. It is, after all, several different chapters from my story — and not just the pretty parts. Sometimes the in between is just messy, y’all.
For years I’ve wanted to write a book but never once did I want to write one that tells of my messiest messes, my darkest seasons and broken spaces, but wouldn’t you know that’s exactly what He said to write? And it figures, doesn’t it, because every in between is just another page in the story He’s given me to live and to tell and all along the way, He is so very good. For several years I’ve been saying that in the middle of your mess He is writing your message, and all these tests you’re going through are becoming your testimony…
Turns out that’s true. And in just a few months, you’ll be able to hold my story in your hands.
It is my prayer that will be a kind companion to the one walking through the in between. The truth is, though, that we’re all living in the ampersand, smack in the middle of the story He’s writing with our days. Our lives are the stories and although we are part of the Kingdom, today we find our feet planted on earth, and so when life isn’t sunshine and roses, what will we say of the God who holds the pen?
If we believe that God could come through, and He can, and if we believe that He hears our prayers and knows our hearts, and He does, will we trust Him if His answer doesn’t look like ours and instead of saving the day, His plan is to draw us closer to Him in the midst of it all?
If we trust that God can save us, will we say He is still God and still good even if He does not?
He has given me opportunity after opportunity to practice saying these words. I’ve had brain surgery, been flat-out broken by community, journeyed to Haiti and come back with one thousand questions, and I’m currently living in a season that, while good, is not at all what I expected or imagined.
God doesn’t always answer our prayers how we ask. He doesn’t provide the answers to all of our questions and sometimes life plain breaks apart. There are hard seasons and sick seasons and dark seasons. I know it; I have lived them. But in every season, in every ampersand and in between, God has been there. Sometimes quiet, sometimes loud, but always He has been faithful and present.
When June rolled into July and life still wasn’t looking like what I had anticipated, He tapped me on the shoulder and said it as clear as day: Will you still trust Me? Will you love Me in this season, too?
All I could offer were the three little words at the end of the sentence I’ve come to know by heart: I know that You could come through how I’m asking You to, but I will love You just the same even if not.
And then He tapped me on the shoulder again and said, “Good. Now write a book about that.”
So. After all the hemming and hawing and “really, are you sure? like totally sure? as in, 250% sure?” I sat down on August 19th and began a book.
On October 19, smack in between (because of course) all the 31 days of Three Little Words posts, I wrote about choosing to say “even if not.” I just didn’t, you know, tell you I was writing A WHOLE BOOK about it. And would now be a good time to mention part of that October 19th post is from the introduction of the book? Oh. Yep.
I took a few weeks off in the middle of all the writing to be fully present with my people, but 73 days after saying yes, I finished the final edits, smiled like a goof, and then cried because, well, I’m me.
And because I wrote a book.
God gave me the words, I simply wrote them. It may be my story, but it’s the one He gave me to live and so this book? It is not about me or my glory. It is ultimately for God, but hear me say it: this book is for you, the one walking through the in between.
I pinky promise to keep you updated now that the secret is finally out (#praise).
*On Wednesday I’ll be opening up the launch team application form and no, you totally do not have to have a blog to be on the team!*
Just for full disclosure – I am self-publishing this book for several reasons, the most important of which being this: God has very clearly shown me that this book is for such a time as now. And so it’s going to look a bit different than a regular book launch because I don’t have a publisher or a team backing me up, doing design work, or spreading the news. But I’ve got my real life people and I’ve got y’all and if it only reaches 5 people, I will be okay because I will have done what He said. That will be more than enough.
I’ll be back on Wednesday to invite you to join the launch team, and as always you can stay up to date by joining me on any of my social media channels (Insta is my fave and is where I’ve been sharing all the secret book stuff – except no one knew it because I am very sly). But now that the manuscript is done and 31 days is over, I am going to crawl in the corner and be very, very quiet for just a little while.
Thank you and amen.
(I love y’all. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being encouraging and supportive and all around just the best people on the Internet. xoxo)
UPDATED to add: The official book page is , if you’d like to visit, learn more, and download a few printables!
Congratulations….that’s huge!
Yay! Congratulations, Kaitlyn! :)
Can’t wait to read it!! <3
Congratulations!! I’m not at all surprised. I love reading everything you write! This will be the first of many I’m sure!
Thanks Aunt Janet. :)
Kaitlyn, Rejoicing with you on the book God has led you to write, and His Story that He is proclaiming through your life.
Those closest to me hear me say often, “Your story is your story”. We all have a story to tell, of a faithful God, who redeems every part of our lives.
Many blessings to you as you launch your book. May God use it to touch the lives of many.
I definitely agreed with you on that.
How totally cool : ) High five Kaitlyn!! : ) Excited to see what God has in store for you next!!
Thanks Heather!
Splendid, I am so going to be on your launch team.
And Congrats!!
Blessings to you
Thank you!
YIPPEE! Rejoicing with you and so proud of you Kaitlyn!
Thanks friend. Still waiting for yours… ;)
Oh, congratulations! How very exciting! your book sounds wonderful. Blessings to you as you walk the journey ahead!
Thank you so much!
Yea and congratulations, sly and talented one! I’d love to be on your launch team! #courage
sue
Thanks Sue – I hope you’re doing well.
Congratulations to you!!! Such an exciting accomplishment! Blessings as you go on this journey!
Thank you!!
Congrats, Kaitlyn. Way to follow your dreams and press through the finish line. I know that Jesus will shine bright through your words.
:) xo
A huge congratulations to you! I think it is amazing that you were able to do this and your story sounds so inspiring!
I am hosting a link up on my blog where people post anything that was happy for them in the month. You should totally sign up because this definitely applies! ♥
Thank you so much Autumn! I’ll have to click over and check it out after replying.
Kaitlyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO STINKIN’ PROUD OF YOU!!!! This is no small thing, and your story is a beautiful one. You’re clearly gifted in the world of words, and you inspire by your example. I’m happy dancin’ alongside you, cheering you loud and strong. Much love <3.
Robin!!! Oh, I love seeing you visit over here. Thank you for clicking over! Think you could post a “the Robin” picture for me on launch day? ;)
You are auh-mazing. That is all.
Hugs. It makes me happy to think we’ll meet one day.
Woot! Woot! Congratulations!
Thanks Anita!
Congratulations! As a fellow writer, I know the excitement of words, especially words that roll around in your brain and finally make it onto the page in coherent form! All the best to you, Kaitlin! And so quickly!
It’s crazy, huh? Gosh. Strange to imagine others reading them now, but a good strange.
So excited for you friend! Can’t wait to read your words.
Thanks friend. :)
Yay you!!! I am convinced that the stepping out and obeying God in the now moment, the this is the time moment, will be one of the biggest blessings you have known. I am excited for you and I look forward to learning more about this gift you are getting ready to show the world.
Blessings,
Dawn
Oh, I so hope you’re right on that. Either way, He sure has me on an adventure!
Bravo to you for being so brave! Looking forward to reading your book.
Thank you so much!
Kaitlyn, this is AWESOME! so excited for you and can’t wait to read your book!
Thanks friend! I appreciate your support.
I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT (Ok I already knew about the book, but I KNEW IT about the title and the storyline). Eeeep! I’m so excited. Both for you, and for the fact that we’re both in this in-between stage of craziness, so I’m really excited to read it. It’s needed right now!
Can’t wait to hear about the launch team and more about the book!! Whatever you need done, we’ll help you– if only because we need this book as much as you needed to write it. (At least I do).
Love ya, friend– excited to hear more!
Thanks for being in my corner. :)
I’m so excited for you!!!! I will promote the socks off for you. You are one awesome amazing special lady. I’m so thrilled to have met you. xo
And in just 7 days, it’s YOUR turn for a book launch! ;)
Kaitlyn, this is great news. I would love to help you launch your book! Yay!
Love,
Taylor
Yay!!!
congratulations! i’m happy for you. blessings in the days ahead!
Thanks Martha!
From one self-published author to another, congratulations. I would love to be on your book launch team!
Thank you Barbie!!!
2 months to write a book! What??? I am so proud of you. Blessings in abundance on this exciting journey!
Can you even believe it?!? I can’t.