When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow. Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way
I’ve heard the word grace nearly my entire lifetime.
“Let’s say grace.” “It’s okay to give yourself grace.” “Jesus coming to us is a gift of extravagant grace.” “You really should give grace to so and so.”
I’ve heard the word. I’ve given the gift and received the gift and even still, I’ve barely grasped the fullness of it all. And yet it’s from His fullness that we have all received grace upon grace. {John 1:16}
Two years ago, I realized that I can be pretty quick to extend grace to those around me but struggled to give myself the gift of grace, the time to process and work through, to try and fail and get back up again. After a year spent working on giving myself the grace I so easily gave others, I found myself in a place where the tables turned and I was suddenly struggling to extend grace to a dear friend.
It’s funny — except not really — how there is always more to learn and always another opportunity to grow. Just as soon as you think it’s all going well and you’ve come so far, you’ll be given an opportunity to practice what you’re preaching and live out what you’re learning.
It wasn’t fair and she didn’t deserve it, but since when is grace “fair” or what we “deserve”? In the same way that forgiveness is often not a one-time thing, time and again I was beaten and bruised by words and actions and that one word kept coming to mind: grace. grace. grace.
Give a little and then oops, look how John 1:16 says to give more. We have received buckets of grace and if we were ever lacking, the clouds would open and grace would rain down. Grace upon grace upon grace upon never-ending grace.
In the sweet and in the bitter, we are to give grace and also love and truth and kindness. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes grace looks like walking away without causing a scene or getting the heck out of dodge when a situation becomes dangerous. But most of the time? Grace looks like showing up and sticking it out, speaking kind words and praying for the one(s) who has hurt you because hurt people hurt people. Grace looks like believing the best about one another.
Community really is at its best when it embraces both grace and truth. – Pete Wilson
We don’t have to do it perfectly. We don’t have to have it all figured out. We can give ourselves grace as we give others grace and somehow He works it all together for His glory and our good. I have to believe that.
Time has passed and looking back now, I can see that the hardest choice was the best choice. With all the grace I have been given, the least I could do was offer grace in return.
Grace isn’t about having a second chance; grace is having so many chances that you could use them through all eternity and never come up empty. It’s when you finally realize that the other shoe isn’t going to drop, ever. Grace is when you finally stop keeping score and when you realize that God never was. – Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet
Grace upon grace. Opportunity after opportunity. I’m learning – slowly but surely. To be totally honest though, recently I’ve been failing. I’m learning, and still failing, and then learning through the failures. So I wrote this post for you… but I also wrote it for me.
Learn with me? Grace upon grace.
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God has really been teaching me about grace lately. I’m learning to extend it to myself as well as others. It isn’t always easy, but it’s always best. Great post.
Kaitlyn – such a great post, as always. i have a harder time extending grace to myself. Thanks for linking up with #WomenWithIntention
Thanks so much, Debbie! I appreciate your kind words.
I think I struggle equal parts–extending grace to myself and extending it to others–when I’m feeling gracious with myself, it’s easy to extend it to others. When I’m down on myself, well, I get down on everyone else, too.
That’s a good point!
Grace upon grace!! (That’s all we need to know!) God’s grace is a gift freely given to us. It is not earned or even merited. It is a free gift given to us by God. Sometimes it takes us a while to remember that though.
Oh, sweet grace – it’s fullness and scope is one that we can never truly wrap our finite minds around, right. I can relate to so many of your words. My heart is to be a grace-giver, but I struggle a bit with grace-receiving too. But…I’m so grateful that God’s supply never runs dry. Glad to be your neighbor at #testimonytuesday today.
All of what you wrote, I get it. Thanks for visiting over here Tiffany!
It is so hard sometimes to extend grace to myself and those closest to me. What a beautiful post and wonderful reminder that we are to continue extending grace upon grace. Thank you Kaitlyn! Joining you today from #RaRaLinkup!
Kaitlyn, this just might be your best post ever.
I don’t have any trouble extending grace to others, but I have difficulty doing so toward myself.
A year and a half ago, I was struggling to comprehend the full magnitude of the word Grace. I felt there was a depth to Grace that I just couldn’t grasp. I found it when I finally took the advice of my priest and tried an exercise he had recommended doing. It me 6 months and 3 promptings, but I finally sat down and did it.
Write a letter to yourself, but pretend you are a friend. Put a friend in your exact situation and think what you would say to them if you were writing them a letter. The point is we are often much kinder to others than we are to ourselves. The grace we readily extend should also be turned inward.
That letter, it brings me to tears every time I read it. Why? Because I am still learning Grace too.
Oh gosh… well thank you! It felt like a mess and a bundle of words to write. It’s all stuck up in my head because I’ve been thinking about this word for so long now. I’m so glad it connected with you though.
I love that idea and have actually practiced that but in a slightly different way. Sometimes if I don’t know what to do or am feeling overwhelmed, I’ll give advice to a “friend” in the same situation and then take my own advice. Ha! I had not connected it with giving myself grace though!