I haven’t been blogging.
I haven’t been writing.
I haven’t been logging onto Blogger and reading blogs.
Simply because of one word:
I’ve come to a place where I know I have to say something. And I’m scared to say it, so I’ve simply not said anything at all.
Doing nothing at all seems easier than doing something.
I can post pictures. I can tell stories. I can talk about my week and what’s been changing in my life recently. I could share my frustrations, my happy times, and my I-never-want-to-forget-this moments.
I could blog through them.
But I feel like I can no longer blog through those things until I’ve learned to blog through fear.
Not just any fear, because there are many I could talk about here.
Yes, I have many.
But I have a really big one.
One that I’ve rarely let out in the past few years.
One that needs a voice. A big fear that I’ve pushed down again and again until it’s taunting voice become only a slight whisper.
And yet, every once in a while I hear it again.
My Really Big Fear must be voiced. I must give it a voice.
But I can’t stay away forever. I can’t quit logging on, wanting to read everyone’s posts but dreading the New Post button, beckoning me to give fear a voice.
This coming Monday I’ll be blogging through some of my biggest fears. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to do it. I’m scared just thinking about it. But I’m hoping maybe, just maybe, if fear is given a voice…
…then it is no longer a fear.