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12 Can’t-Miss Books Coming May-August of 2021
You Have Something to Offer
This Is Not Where Your Story Ends
Go Ahead and Light the Candles
12 Can’t-Miss Books Coming January-April of 2021

MY BOOK // Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between

Even If Not: Living, Loving and Learning in the in Between

kaitlyn_bouch

📚Author of #EvenIfNotBook
✏️Writer: kaitlynbouchillon.com
☕️Lover of iced coffee
💻Virtual Assistant

Within my close circle of friends, this last year

Within my close circle of friends, this last year we’ve walked through several deaths of parents and grandparents, cancer, unexpected surgeries, abuse, friendships and dating relationships ending, a car wreck, job loss, difficulty finding a job, and moving to a new city on your own—to say nothing of a global pandemic.

By and large, Western culture isn’t comfortable with grief—our own or the grief of another. As I’ve written more this year about holding onto hope in the midst of hurt, how kind the Holy Spirit is in our sorrow, and how God is faithful every step of the way, I’ve received replies that push me to hurry up, wrap it up, and tie a bow on sadness. I have emails in my inbox concerned I’m losing my faith… and to be honest they break my heart because they miss the point: We can hold hope and grief together. They aren’t mutually exclusive and it’s actually okay to skip the “Oh I’m good, thanks for asking!” reply and honestly say “I’m not okay today. I will be, but I’m not right now.”

One of the hardest articles I’ve ever written goes live next week—one year to the day my grandfather passed away. I wrote it while waiting for Nana to join him in heaven, and it's about sorrow, grief and loss.

Because of the messages this past year, I anticipate more emails. But I just want to say before they arrive—maybe we could look to the example of Jesus. He knew that loss wouldn’t have the final word, but He still wept with His friends, legitimized their hurt, and instead of quoting Scriptures about joy or peace, He was simply present in the moment. "Rejoice with those who are rejoicing, mourn with those who are mourning."

The past year has been a LOT on both a global and personal scale—for every. single. one. of. us. And I'd just like to be a voice that says you don’t have to have it all together. We have a God who holds it all, who holds us together, who sees our sadness and weeps with us. You will be okay, but you don't have to be okay today. 💛 You are loved.

Graves and gardens, bitter and sweet, laughter and

Graves and gardens, bitter and sweet, laughter and mourning, darkness and light, dead ends and new beginnings and messy middles full of ordinary days—in all of it, there He is.⁣ God doesn’t run. In every single season, He is faithful and He remains. That isn’t some cliché or a tidy bow to wrap everything up nicely. Because graves and mourning and dead ends… they’re all real.⁣
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It’s just that they aren’t the end of the story.⁣
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And so: I'm praying this blessing over my own life and I’m praying it for you too. You can tag a friend and pass the blessing along, or speak it over yourself today if you need to. He is trustworthy and faithful, constant through every high and low, there on every mountaintop and with us in every valley.⁣
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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him today.⁣
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Emmanuel, the God who comes and the One that stays. Waymaker. Miracle worker. Promise keeper. Light in the darkness. Even here, even now, faithful in all ways— always.⁣

Generous. Thoughtful. Creative. Funny without even

Generous. Thoughtful. Creative. Funny without even trying. Preacher. Writer. Baker. Loyal and kind and resourceful and always ready with a smile.⁣
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I hope I turn out to be even half of who she was.⁣
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As I looked back through pictures, I realized her arm was almost always around me, and I looked at her the way she looked at me. She’s been slowly slipping away for many years, but even in the moments she didn’t know me, there was something familiar. A smile, a twinkle in her eye, her hand squeezing mine. I wish so much that she made it to her own words quoted in chapter 8 of Even If Not before she forgot that I ever wrote a book. I wish the bookmark wasn’t frozen in time, that she read two chapters more and discovered the surprise I hid for her, a reflection on a lesson she taught me long ago.⁣
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Alzheimer’s is a thief that takes one item at a time, a full-to-the-brim bucket with holes that can’t be plugged. It’s a slow loss and a long goodbye, over and over and over again. It’s watching someone disappear before your eyes one puzzle piece, one memory at a time.⁣
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But even at the end, she remembered something that I hope I never forget. On the last day she was able to speak, she slowly but surely quoted John 3:16. So much faded away, but the Word remained. I’ll cherish that video for a long time and honestly, it’s just like her to teach one last lesson, to point me back to the Gospel and to the One she loved most of all.⁣
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Every “world’s best nana” mug and t-shirt and picture frame was true. She was the very best. The loss is so great… but the joy is too. Especially because Pap-Pop is there to greet her. I don’t have words for this, this losing both grandparents within a year, but I hope there’s a way to watch a replay of her Welcome Home celebration because gosh, what a party it must have been.⁣
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I already miss you so much, Nana, but I hope I make you proud by loving how you did with the rest of the days I’ve been given. See you so soon.

This. This right here. ♥️

This. This right here. ♥️

I’m not sure @anniefdowns meant for anyone to he

I’m not sure @anniefdowns meant for anyone to hear her response, but I won’t forget it any time soon.⁣
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At the end of Monday’s podcast (That Sounds Fun episode #290), with the outro music already playing and her mic turned down, the guest said “I’m just trying to follow in your footsteps” and Annie immediately replied “Let’s just walk together.”⁣
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Woah.⁣
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One of my very favorite blog posts is from 2012 (I mean, clearly, since I remember it 9 years later). It’s simply titled “Trailblazer.” Guess who wrote it?⁣
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“You’re blazing a trail with your life for the younger women behind you. They will have their own overgrowth to challenge them, and they will lead the way for others. But for today, would you be intentional about cutting back as much brush as you can? Because you are making a way for them, saving them some pain that your bloodied arms prove is real, and honoring their footsteps by providing a clear path. Someone is watching. May they learn to blaze with integrity, honesty, faith, and heart.” - @anniefdowns⁣
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I’ve watched two dozen women open doors and generously clear the way for those coming behind. I’m sure you could guess each name because I often share their posts in IG Stories or link to their work in my weekly email. I’d be honored to somehow follow in their footsteps, to clear a little bit of the path for the next generation.⁣
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But with that one line, Annie reframed it. With humility and hope, let’s walk beside one another.⁣
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Let’s be women who celebrate instead of compete, who cheer instead of compare.⁣
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(Thanks for blazing a trail, @anniefdowns, and for walking with integrity, honesty, faith, and heart even when you don’t think anyone is listening. Because I am. Listening, watching and grateful to walk with.)

I bought a $4 bouquet of flowers 3.5 weeks ago, pl

I bought a $4 bouquet of flowers 3.5 weeks ago, placed the stems in small vases around the apartment, and then did *exactly nothing* to help them survive. (I also haven’t dusted, but that’s beside the point.) Every morning I expect to walk into the living room and discover half of the petals have fallen overnight, but this one is still going strong.⁣
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I’m sure I could find a verse about flowers or God’s strength. There are lots of true words about how God sustains and is more than enough.⁣
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But today I’ve just got this: sometimes beauty can be found in the dust and sometimes the miracle we need is literally right in the middle of the mess.⁣
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#beautifulordinarynow #miracleseverywhere #itssimplytuesday #evenifnotbook

There’s someone in my life who shames and picks

There’s someone in my life who shames and picks me apart and often gives the very opposite of grace.⁣
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She’s a bully, and she is me.⁣
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I say things to myself that I wouldn’t say to you in a million years. I’d never even think them, never have them cross my mind, and yet they play on an endless repeat in my own head. There are scripts spinning that, if spoken about one of my friends, would make me SO upset. Because how dare you talk to my friend that way?!⁣
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A few months ago I decided if I wouldn’t be okay with someone saying it to my friend, then it wasn’t okay to think/say about myself. That’s my new filter. And no, scripts don’t get rewritten with the snap of a finger (I wish). But I’m noticing them more, pressing pause, and choosing something kind (even if I have to think for a while).⁣
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So I have a challenge for you, and I really hope you’ll take me up on it because the words we say and what we name ourselves matters.⁣
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Take 5 seconds or 5 minutes (however long it takes, but take it right now) and say something true and kind about yourself. Out loud. (For real.) There’s enough negativity in our heads. Let’s speak truth and hear our own voice saying it.⁣
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We all (yes, including ourselves) could use a kind word. Are you in? If so, put a “challenge accepted” in the comments… and maybe even add another sentence by tagging a friend and saying something kind. Let’s replace a script or two today.

There are ten thousand words and none at all, some

There are ten thousand words and none at all, somehow at the same time. Last week I began a short devotional that centers on just a few verses in Matthew 6. Each day includes a brief reflection and the same verses, again and again and again.⁣
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They’re familiar, these words I memorized as a child, but as I read them in different translations, I wondered for the first time: is this, by any chance, what the Spirit prays when I plead “Holy Spirit, intercede”?⁣
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When it seems like every day brings news of another tragedy, Holy Spirit intercede. When we shout at and silence each other instead of listen, lament, repent, Holy Spirit intercede. When we fight with instead of fight for one another, Holy Spirit intercede. When hearts break and words fail, Holy Spirit intercede.⁣
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In the middle of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches us how to pray. It isn’t fancy and it isn’t lengthy, but the longer I spend thinking through each line, the more I see this prayer reorders my thinking, challenges my pride, carries my worries, and changes the plot of earth beneath my own two feet. On earth as it is in heaven… may it be so.

Words to hold onto through the night until morning

Words to hold onto through the night until morning arrives. It will. It always does.

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