I wrote this a few days ago. It’s just a little of my hearts ramblings, but maybe one of you will understand or perhaps even learn from it. What you could learn, I don’t frankly know. But it’s always a possibility. Either way, let the rambling begin.
I feel everything at once. I want to be angry and I want to cry. I want to shout and I want to throw the covers over my head and curl up only to sleep for days. I want answers and I want the truth. No, those aren’t always the same thing. I want this to all be over, but I want everyone to have enough time to work through it personally. I want forgiveness and restoration, but I want apologies and honesty. I want to yell at the hypocrite(s) and I want to whisper bitter words. I want to bring Him glory and I want to win the war, but I also want to hold onto my frustration because in that there is power. Except that the power isn’t real, and only holds me captive and not anyone else. It punishes me, not the one I want to feel sorry. I’m feeling everything and I’m just simply confused. Which is completely absurd since nothing in this moment seems at all simple.