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A book for the broken hopefuls… Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between

Even If Not: Living, Loving and Learning in the in Between

kaitlyn_bouch

📚Author of #EvenIfNotBook
✏️Writer: kaitlynbouchillon.com
☕️Lover of iced coffee
💻Virtual Assistant

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This is not what I expected my right-now life to look like. This is not what I would have prayed for.⁣
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From where I stand today, this isn't what I would have chosen. But I trust the Author, so I have to believe this is exactly what I would choose for myself if I could see the entire storyline. I'm choosing to believe there are gifts hidden in the timing of the answer and in the prayers that seemingly receive a “no.”⁣
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Because sometimes what we think would be best would actually be flat-out terrible. And sometimes we pray and hope and pray some more, only to later find God had something much better in store, something we never would have thought to ask for.⁣
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He is a good God who gives good gifts — gifts of what is and what isn’t. And so today, I'll believe that all is grace and all is well. I will choose to be grateful for the things I’ve received . . . and the things that, praise God, didn’t come my way.

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He talked about the small fire that quickly grew and spread, the people who fled and the ones who were hurt. But it was just a sentence or two of brokenness before he explained the meaning behind ‘Second City.’ In retrospect, beauty took center stage.⁣
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That was two weeks ago now, but I can’t get his words out of my head.⁣
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“We don’t call ourselves that because we think we’re the second best or ranked high on a list. We’re the Second City because we’re still here. What you see now is the result of rebuilding, of rising from the ashes. Over time, we learned and grew and did the work. We’re still here.”⁣
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There’s a metaphor in there and it isn’t hard to find. I hope that if you need it today as I did then (and still do now), that you’ll hear it loud and clear and choose to hold on. To stick around. To learn, grow, and try again. To dig deep and do the hard work. To rebuild and rise. Who knows . . . Maybe one day someone will look at this chapter of your story and see beauty.⁣
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Maybe that someone will be you.

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When I can barely stand to read the news headlines and yet I can’t look away... when darkness creeps up and light seems to shrink back... when there appear to be more questions than answers, so much more sorrow than joy... I won't pretend to have the answers and I won't offer empty words, but neither will I stay quiet from the sidelines because silence speaks a message, too. We may not know what to do, but we can stand with one another. We can say this is not okay, never okay. We can hold both grace and truth together, remembering that our only hope is this: we love and trust the One who holds tomorrow. We can look for the Light who stepped into the darkness and made a way, became the Way, where there was no way.⁣
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Dear God, may we have hearts that hold on in faith until our eyes finally see what we believe. Amen

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“We thought God had forgotten us. We asked Him what we had done wrong and why no one would come.”⁣
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The elders of the village sat in a circle, sharing how nearby villages were helped and they prayed for years, but no one came for them. A few feet away, a machine dug a hole deep into the earth — searching for clean and safe drinking water . . . something they‘d never had. The next day, it hit a rock and broke. We started over.⁣
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I've never forgotten that moment. I can't unhear, unsee, unknow or unfeel it. Years later, I still occasionally cry while brushing my teeth or getting water from the kitchen sink . . . I have taken so very much for granted.⁣
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I've returned multiple times and seen it for myself (swipe for images). The dry and empty field is no longer. The well goes deep, the water runs clean, and there is so much joy.⁣
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Last month, @groscheinternational asked if I'd tell you about their new Oasis water bottle. I'm *super* careful of promos here and almost always say no. But then I found out every bottle provides 50+ days of clean, safe water for those without it — and it was a no brainer.⁣
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👉🏻 Do me a favor today? Comment with the hashtag (or share this post to Stories and use the hashtag) #MyOasisGivesWater. EVERY time the hashtag is used, @groscheinternational will provide an EXTRA day of safe water.⁣
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If you need a new water bottle, I hope you'll consider this one. It's actually really cool (there's a removable infuser inside and it keeps drinks cold for 24 hours), but more importantly to me, it gives back.⁣
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P.S. The unique code? It lets you see who received clean water because of your bottle. (For me, it's Cainila Marieta’s family — see last picture. They live in the Sinudo village in the Philippines.) #sponsored

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I came reeeeeal close to pulling onto the shoulder of the road to cry before skipping bible study and turning around to just go home. Yesterday was the third “one of those days” in a row . . . you know the kind. When all the random little things go wrong and add up, all the people need all the things all at the same time, and you want to be a good _____ (daughter, friend, employee etc) but there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day.⁣
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I showed up late, took several deep breaths, and walked in. Sarah offered me a granola bar from her purse so I wouldn’t totally miss dinner. Discussion was rich and truth-full. We asked questions and shared thoughts and sat together in the mystery. No matter what it takes to get there, every time I’m always glad to have gone. And then this morning, Jude 1:2 greeted me.⁣
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It’s a new day and Love is on the way. Not a to-do list. Not shame or guilt, worry or fear. Love.⁣
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I don’t know what your day holds or what your week has looked like so far, but I’m holding onto this today. We’re going to be okay . . . Praise God, Love is already on the way.⁣
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#preachingtomyownheart #shereadstruth⁣
lettering: @andreahoweyandco

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Ours is a God who comes to meet us in our mourning, who weeps with us even though He knows all will soon be redeemed (John 11). ⁣
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Ours is a God who comes to join the celebration, who laughs and feasts with those He loves (John 2).⁣
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Ours is a God who comes to us in the middle of the storm, who quiets the waves and reaches out a hand to save (Matthew 14).⁣
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You are not alone. There is One who always, always comes.⁣

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Something the architecture tour guide said yesterday took me by surprise and now I see it all over the place.⁣
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In downtown Chicago, when a new building is designed the architect gives a hat tip to the ones on either side. The height, the design, and even the colors intentionally reflect both the building’s location and its neighbors. They don’t match and they don’t copy — they simply point to one another.⁣
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I want to be that way, and several names immediately came to mind — women in this online space who constantly pull out another chair and make sure there’s room, who don’t just say we’re better together but actually point to one another because they believe it. Who do you know or follow who does that? Maybe today we can give them a hat tip, to let them know their intentionality and kindness don’t go unnoticed.⁣
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Day One: 25,000 steps in 10 hours (bless). Buckingham Fountain. Walking trails. Navy Pier. Riverwalk. Millennium Park. The Bean. Architecture Cruise. The Walnut Room.

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I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until light dawned and I sighed somewhere deep within. There’s something about watching the day “wake up” as darkness fades shade by shade that gives me hope. It’s a day we’ve never lived, a clean slate with a fresh start, and yet He’s the same. ⁣⁣
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He was awake and present all through the night but here we are, light has broken through, and He’s here too.⁣⁣
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Good morning.

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“Can you come pick me up? I don’t feel safe.”⁣
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A few weeks ago, my phone rang as a familiar name filled the screen.⁣
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There was no hesitation, no second-guessing or concern for my to-do list. I was already reaching for my keys as I replied, “Of course. I’m leaving right now. I’ll meet you there.”⁣
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Only later when we were both home safe and sound did I have time to reflect on what happened. One sentence crossed my mind, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since:⁣
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“I will always come for you.”⁣
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I could have accidentally missed her phone call, been out of town, or simply been in the middle of a meeting. But none of those possibilities apply to the God of the universe, the One who has called us His daughters.⁣
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There are no meetings or deadlines on His calendar, no growing to-do list filled with other concerns. He isn’t a twenty-minute drive away, and He’s never too busy for you.⁣
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There’s nothing special about what I did that morning. You would have done the same in a heartbeat.⁣
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But there’s something absolutely astounding in a God who not only hears our cries and promises to come (Psalm 91:15), but immediately reaches out and knows what we need before we even call (Isaiah 65:24).⁣
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He will accept your invitation. He will show up as you walk through the unknown, celebrate an answered prayer, or mourn a great loss. He is not too busy, and He won’t miss your call. Whether you’re scared, sad, confused or weary, He is there. You are not alone.⁣
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He will always come for you.

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