Now that we’ve gone all the way back to 9th grade, I think it’s time to wrap up the Story of how God beautifully put together His Plans for my summer.
If you missed the back story, just hop over here and catch up real quick.
Because it’s the background that makes the Story have so much more meaning.
If you just want a super simple recap, here ya go: In 9th grade I went to this crazy great conference, called Student Leadership University, on how to be a Christian leader. I met a fabulous girl, Amy, heard about Samford, and then went again the next summer. I visited Samford and decided to call it home!
I mean, clearly there’s more to it than that because – hello – I wrote a too-long post on it. But I love details and I love how God has been working every single detail out for years now. So go catch up and then come back to this!
So back to where we left off: January.
I had emailed the Samford SLU lady and had sent in my newly redesigned resumé.
I got three fantastic recommendation letters that completely humbled me…and possibly made me cry. ;)
And I felt like it was all perfect. A letter from Amy, my SLU leader and fellow Samford student. A letter from my youth pastor, who could write more on me as a person and how I’ve grown. A letter from a girl on Exec in my sorority who had worked for SLU for two years.
I felt like every box was checked and the rec letters covered every part of my involvement. With a freshly re-done resumé and being proactive in asking for an interview…I felt like I had done everything possible.
I heard back and was told I could interview when I got back to campus…I assumed they would need to start interviews as soon as possible, but I didn’t hear anything for weeks.
Step Sing came and went and suddenly February was about to end.
For weeks, (in)courage kindly asked me to stay and I always said how I would love to, but that I hadn’t heard back about when my SLU interview would be.
I couldn’t commit to (in)courage until I knew if I would still even be given an interview.
More time went by and I felt certain God had closed the SLU door. I had done everything in my power to open that door, but nothing was happening.
But the (in)courage door was being held wide open. How could I continue saying no to the job that turned out to be my dream? As soon as I began to let go of SLU, I got even more excited about staying with (in)courage.
Since coming back from Jan. term I had been writing cover letters, sending in resumes, etc. to various companies in Birmingham. I had gone on several interviews for internships in Birmingham that would allow me to stay with (in)courage at the same time.
{Clearly, I’m an over-planner and wanted to have another part-time internship, place to stay, etc. in case SLU didn’t happen}
I was offered an internship with one company on the spot, and feel like I had a good shot with a few others…but I turned it all down – keep reading, you’ll understand. :)
So. I started focusing on my Birmingham summer. Full of friends and (in)courage and trips to the beach with my family. I began to let go of my SLU dream.
On a Friday afternoon I emailed the wonderful Lisa-Jo and excitedly said I would stay. I was SO happy about it and pumped about this summer! She was at a conference and on Monday morning I got an excited email back from her. Y’all, I was so excited that they were excited.
About two hours later I checked my Samford email and saw an email asking me to come in for an interview.
For SLU.
I literally laughed out loud. His irony astounds me sometimes. Immediately, I emailed Lisa-Jo and told her I had JUST been offered an interview and was going to take it, but turn down the job.
I felt like it would be really rude to turn down the interview, after asking for weeks to meet with them. But I felt so clearly that the door was already shut and that I was called to walk through the (in)courage door. Yes, the SLU door had cracked open, but it was simply a good opportunity for me to meet Samford faculty and put a face with my name. I accepted the interview, praying to simply make a good impression and then continue on with (in)courage.
Being the great person she is, Lisa-Jo responded within 5 minutes and said, “Well if you get it – you should take it! We’ll totally understand and still love you the same :)”
To which I promptly responded, “We’ll see. :) I know He’ll make it clear, and so far the only thing that’s been clear is that I should be here…so I’m resting in that and letting Him hold the future. Thank you, though. Y’all are just wonderful.”
And y’all. I meant every word.
While God had been showing me things that made SLU look like a closed door, He had also been showing me things about (in)courage that made me realize how wide open the door was for me there.
But, the interview.
So a week or two later I went to the interview. I had already printed my recs out in January, so that was all set. Other than that, I didn’t prepare. I didn’t practice-answer fake questions that I might be asked. I just went, and I just prayed.
From my dorm to the office room, I prayed something that went a little like this:
“Okay God, so I’m going to this SLU interview and I really don’t know how this door opened back up. I thought for sure You’re wanting me at (in)courage this summer and in Birmingham. But thank you for the opportunity to interview. Please let them like me, but don’t let them choose me. I know it’s selfish, God, but I want them to think I’m great – but then I want them to find someone just a little bit better. Because God, if they give me this…I can’t make that choice. Please shut the door somewhere God. Wherever you want me to be, make it clear and shut all the other doors.”
That last line? I had been praying that constantly since coming back to school for the semester. Before every internship interview, sporadically throughout the day, before meals, just all the time. I didn’t know where He wanted me, but I was okay with that.
I just didn’t want Him to open more than one door.
I walked into the interview, met with two super friendly people, and answered a ton of questions. I felt like I rambled for ages {what else is new. ha.} and truly felt like I answered the questions pretty well.
There were a few I wasn’t prepared for at all…for example, this: “What would you say if a student came up to you and said, ‘Okay, so you like Samford. But be honest, what the worst thing about the school?'”
Umm. What?
What do you even say to that?
I answered everything honestly, and I think the fact that absolutely nothing was rehearsed or practiced actually helped me.
I left the interview feeling like I had done a good job representing myself. As soon as I stepped out of the building and began walking back to my dorm, I took a deep breath and jumped right back into our conversation from earlier…
“Phew! Well, that’s over. I think it went pretty well, God. I answered everything honestly and I think I did okay. I don’t think I’ll get it and that’s totally fine, but can I at least have made a good impression? And now that it’s over, can You help them make their decision soon? Because they’re not going to pick me, and I need to let (in)courage know. God, don’t let them pick me. Let them find someone better…You know this would be a huge opportunity, and I’m so thankful for the chance. But I don’t want to pick between these dreams God. You pick.“
And then I waited. I didn’t email Lisa-Jo or anyone at (in)courage because there wasn’t an update.
I had been told I’d hear back one way or the other before Spring Break.
I checked my SU mailbox multiple times.
Every. Single. Day.
Nothing.
Friday came and still, nothing.
I thought maybe they forgot, and then I saw something in my email. I recognized that the email was from the person who would be letting me know, but I quickly got off email on my phone before it could download.
I wasn’t ready to know…I had other things to focus on first {and was scared to hear a maybe-yes}.
Things like a job interview in Birmingham. That afternoon.
And once again, I use lots of words when fewer would be sufficient. Come back tomorrow and the story WILL end. :) After all, we’re up to Spring Break and that was only two weeks ago! :)