Here’s the deal. Five Minute Friday. You go find the little prompt at the wonderful Lisa-Jo’s blog, set the time and write for five minutes, and then just stop. Where you are, no edits, just publish raw words.
I’ve been challenged this week. In some good, hard ways.
Stretched and pulled out of my comfort zone, into an area where it’s all but impossible to curl up in a ball and go back to what was safe.
Last Friday I sat on a blow up mattress, typing out my current “more than I can imagine” dream-coming-true. After 12 hours in a car, I couldn’t sleep knowing the FMFParty was going on, so I just got up and wrote.
I shared how my words were going to go up on (in)courage the following morning – but what you didn’t know is how big of a deal it was – and still is.
More than I could imagine? Absolutely.
Super excited and honored? More than you know.
Nervous and full of questions? Yes. Very much, yes.
Years of blogging anonymously and with one click of a button, my words were suddenly available for anyone, and they pointed right back here to this blog.
There’s a difference between this safe place where a few read, and (in)courage with 29,000+ subscribers, almost 20,000 Facebook likes, a new instagram account, and a twitter page that reaches 73,000+
But it came down to this one fact: my friends and family would see
They would read my words and follow the links to this here blog and this little bubble would pop so fast and big that there would be no un-doing it.
To reach a God-sized dream, I had to step out and risk. I had to let go of the safety net and just jump, trusting that He would break my fall.
Between making flower bouquets, setting up chairs, and making photo collages for the big wedding, I snuck a few minutes here and there to read your words. And I cried.
Saturday night came and with the wedding over I had crawled into bed when my phone lit up – a new message had come in. An email with my words, forwarded to many, many people. And I cried.
Because I didn’t feel ready and there was no going back. I had allowed myself to be found and the question loomed – what now? I laid there and cried, full of doubts and what-if’s and all sorts of questions I couldn’t answer
I felt like I was falling, with equal parts confusion and freedom. Completely scared out of my mind, and completely thrilled to ‘fly.
After a few moments of prayer I texted a friend (the precious one who held my hand in the coffee line) and she quietly listened to the me behind the fears, asking questions and wanting to know more…and then she pointed me straight into His arms
In the chaos and the unknowns, this one thing remains true: He is faithful.
I can fall into that and I can rest.
I’m still leaning on Him, and I’m beyond grateful to have friends that allow me to fall into their arms as they push me to Jesus. I’m learning so much, and tomorrow? Tomorrow I’m taking a big step and sharing a link on my personal Facebook page, inviting everyone to come to (in)courage.
I’m choosing to believe it, and I’m falling into His wonderful grace.
There’s power in my Story, too, and He’s still writing – who am I to keep His words from the world?