Here’s the deal. Five Minute Friday. You go find the little prompt at the wonderful Lisa-Jo’s blog, set the time and write for five minutes, and then just stop. Where you are, no edits, just publish raw words.
I’m in between homes right now. Florida and Alabama hold my heart, but tonight I find myself in Georgia, my car loaded down with pillows and sweaters and random items like a swiffer and a lint roller.
Clearly, I’m headed back to college.
I’ve boxed up my life and am mentally preparing for another year of school.
Let’s just be honest.
I’m not ready.
…and that terrifies me.
I’ve always been the girl that gets home and after two days can’t wait to go back to school. I’m the one that is texting after a week “hey, let’s Skype! I miss you so much!” I count down the days until I can be back in Birmingham. It’s home to me now.
But this time? This time I’m almost dreading it. The thought of homework and meetings, deadlines and projects…none of it is appealing in the least. I don’t want to go back to sleeping 3-4 hours a night and always having 3 things due when I only have time to do 1 thing well.
I just want to love people.
I’m tired of the “stuff” that clogs up my days, but I have to remind myself that there is a purpose in it all.
The reason I’m not excited for school is that I’ve barely had time to rest or recharge this summer. I was always on the go, always pouring out and rarely feeling poured into. That isn’t bad for a season, but the idea of entering into the crazy when I haven’t had a break from it?
I don’t feel ready.
But I think of verses like these and I realize I can do this. Not because of my own strength, but because He is my joy and His joy is my strength.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. (Psalm 27:14)
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him. (Psalm 28:7)
I only have two years left, and I don’t want to waste a moment. This time next year I’ll be a Senior and every celebration, every Samford tradition – from lighting of the way with all the candles and christmas lights, to Welcome Back Week with the concert and free food – it will all be my last.
I don’t want to wait until it’s my last to realize how much I love it. The present is a present, a gift for me from Him.
So I will live in it. I will count the joys before I realize they’re a last among many.
Because that’s the thing about lasts. We never know it’s our last anything until it’s over and nothing else comes.
I’m going to savor the moments. The crazy, running on no sleep, there’s no time for sitting down days – and the joyful days of good conversations, chocolate chip cookies, and crisp leaves falling.
It’s all a gift, even the lasts.