Five Minute Friday: Write

Here’s the deal. Five Minute Friday. You go find the little prompt at the wonderful Lisa-Jo’s blog, set the time and write for five minutes, and then just stop. Where you are, no edits, just publish raw words.

START

WRITE…

A few months ago I claimed the name that scared me to my core: writer.

But two weeks ago I stepped away from this place.

Sometimes you just don’t have the words to express all the workings of your heart, the things He is moving around and the ways you’ve been so humbled.

The blog has gone quiet but my life has sped up, the pace quickening and the amount of “free time” lessening. Instead of writing out the words, I’ve been pouring them out in person.

I’ve met all these girls, twenty beautiful and unique women who love the Lord and for two weeks, they called me mama. I was there to encourage them, love on them, and be the listening ear and the shoulder to cry on as they went through Recruitment for sororities. Being a Rho Gam is one of the best thing I’ve done since coming to college, but it humbled me greatly.

Tonight, two weeks after Recruitment, we got back together to have a picnic outside, fresh fruit, chocolate chip cookies (the best kind, of course), and then to go to the Birmingham overlook. This city lit up at night is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

I didn’t think I would make it back here in time, and if I’m being honest, it was a little bit of a relief.

I’ve been away so long and the words are all stopped up inside. I have big dreams and far-off plans. If we’re getting real honest, I’m more than a little scared.

There’s a story inside of me and it won’t stop knocking at the door of my heart.

I began this journey a different girl. There was no trust left in me, no way of showing the world a love I didn’t believe in apart from the Lord. I didn’t know what it meant to dream anymore and frankly, I didn’t ever want to learn again. Because if I tried again…How could I know I wouldn’t be hurt?

And that’s the thing of it all. You don’t know. You try and do your best and you put your heart out there, but at the end of the day anyone can google your name or a few key words and they suddenly have access to pieces of your heart. What they do with that is completely in their court.

That’s terrifying.

Recently I’ve had people from my past find my blog, and God has been so ever faithful and good, moving mountains and providing healing in the hurt places. But as I get closer to friends there’s no hiding this passion, this story inside me, and they ask for the link to this place.

I tell them about you.

How you love me when I’m hurting and the words are a mess of jumbled pieces.

How you serve me through prayer when I’m down silent on my knees.

How you leave words of encouragement and affirmation, believing in me when I don’t believe in this gift, bringing me to tears as I read your kindness as I enter the cafeteria. That you would believe in a twenty-year-old girl with a crazy dream and a pieced together heart…

You, they just know you.

So I come. With open hands and words that don’t feel like they hold any power. I’m on another leg of the journey, carrying a story and learning the rise and fall of loving one another despite boundaries of both heart and past hurts. I’m learning a hug speaks one thousand words, and prayer moves the mountains.

Will you join me back in this place? Will you slip your hand in mine again and walk this journey? I don’t know where I’m going and I don’t know what He has in store, but in faith I will write even if it doesn’t sound perfectly right. I will enter into the broken spaces so that others can find His freedom and redemption. I will share this place and learn on His grace, trusting that He knows the hurts and He holds the future.

There’s just no need to be scared when He carries the words that flow from these fingers.

Lord, may they honor you, bringing glory to your name only. Take my name off every scrap and speak grace to your Daughters tonight. Thank you for being love and for giving us each a new name.

STOP