This is a trustworthy saying: If we die with him, we will also live with him. If we endure hardship with him, we will reign with him. If we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is. 2 Timothy 2:11-13 NLT
Life was a smooth ride for the most part. I had four amazing friends that I considered siblings, I was making good grades, and I knew what I wanted to do as my job after college.
Things weren’t perfect, but they were pretty darn good.
That was three years ago.
I didn’t realize it then, but I was living in what I would soon come to consider “the glory days.”
Isn’t it funny, that saying “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” Sometimes I wish we could know we’re living in the good times, while we’re still living in them.
I had no idea my view was about to change, and it was going to do a full 180.
Broken relationships and scary health issues came, and my view was shaken.
The world that looked so-so before now seemed like a dream. My present felt like a nightmare when looking back at my ‘before.’
Suddenly I trusted no one and inside, my heart ached. I could smile and hug friends, but with every conversation I kept a piece of me locked up and unavailable. I guarded the pieces that remained with every ounce of strength that I had left.
My people-view had changed.
I had so many questions for God, and He remained silent on almost every single one of them. But even in that silence, He spoke loud and clear on one thing: I am for you.
I am with you. I love you. I see what has happened and I know your side of the story. When your tears fall, I catch them. When you make it through a hard conversation, I’m cheering for you! I’m proud of you and I know you can’t see it yet, but good things will come of this. I know you’ve lost trust in everyone, and I see your broken places. I will mend them.
Will you trust me?
I am for you.
Dear friend, He is for you. He is with you and He loves you. No matter your view of what has happened, no matter the pain or the happy or the confusing, He sees your side of the story, too. As you cry He holds you, and He’s cheering for you as you chase your dreams. Light is coming right around that corner, and He isn’t waiting for you in the good – He’s walking with you in the now.
He is for you.
My view has changed drastically over time – He was Faithful and He mended. I’ve learned to trust {fully} again and I’ve seen the community that comes when we let go and allow the real to show. THESE are the glory days. The right now, in this moment, present.
The present is a present to us, from our loving Father.
What I didn’t know was that He was also changing my view of Him. His goodness overwhelms me, His Faithfulness suffocates.
Even when I am unfaithful, He remains Faithful.
He is good and true and all things just. He is a jealous God, and He. Is. For. Us.
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It’s funny, really. After searching through the archives (okay. old posts. but “the archives” just sounds so legit.) for something to share while I’m gone, I stumbled across this.
It’s the perfect timing, because my goodness, what a miracle God has done! I’m not just gone – I’m away spending time with one of those friends I mentioned above. Because God, He’s kind of into miracles and He gave me mine.
I prayed for four and a half years and over and over kept hearing, “Kaitlyn, I am for you. That is enough. I am enough. I am for you.”
He was. He is. He always will be.
But He chose to answer my prayer and now – now we are friends again. Friends who say yes to risking and yes to jumping and yes to making new memories.
