Am I?

Are you?

What does captivating even mean?

Is it about what your parents think? Your significant other? Your best friend? Your siblings? God?

Is it what you think of yourself?

And most importantly…what makes someone captivating?

These are all questions that roam around my head on occasion. Sometimes they fly through, quickly trying to reach another destination. And sometimes they stroll through, set up a picnic, and roll around as if they’re playing on a grassy field.

Yup, that was me trying to sound metaphoric. Fail.

Anywho, captivating. I won’t lie, I wonder how captivating I am. I bet you do, too.

This book has helped me with it, though. John and Stasi Eldridge touched on many different topics in the book, and it’s not hard for me to come to the conclusion that Captivating is one of my absolute favorite books ever.

So when a few girls in a community I frequently visit suggested we do a little Bible study type thing on Captivating, I was all in. After all, this is the book that was some how able to change my life in little ways.

In the community, there are a few questions that we were asked to answer. I’ll put them up here, respond to the questions, and then another post will be coming with more thoughts on the first chapter of Captivating (they would be in this post, but they don’t tie in very well…not like that usually stops me or anything, though. :]).

1. As you flip through chapter one, did you highlight anything? What strikes you? What did it evoke in your heart?

Oh heck yes. :) I’m not a “book highlighter,” by any means. I really don’t like marking books up, but I couldn’t help myself with this book. Almost every page has something underlined or marked. I even wrote in the margins.

I’d say the part that strikes me the most each time I read it is the part about being unseen, unheard, and unknown.

More on that in the future post.

2. Can you recall a time in your life when you felt alive as a woman? Who were you with? What happened? How did you feel?

Umm…I really don’t know. I’m not even sure what it means to “feel alive as a woman.” I guess when I’m comforting someone, taking care of someone, watching little kids, or singing I feel more like a woman…but I truly don’t know why.

3. What expectations have been laid upon you, as a woman? What do you feel the pressure to be?

I feel pressured to be comforting, caring, loving, motherly, nurturing, tidy, respectful, and quiet. It seems like I’m just expected to be a mother. Which is what I really want to be anyways…but it does feel like an expectation. And the thing is, it seems like I’m expected to be a stay-at-home-mother after going to college, getting a great degree, and finding a good job. And then I am supposed to leave it all and take care of my children.

That’s what I want. Seriously. But I don’t think I’ve ever really bluntly said all that, yet it’s expected of me.

And then there’s the expectation that I should be dating. Ha! Riiiight.

4. Do you feel like you know what it feels like to be a true woman? Do you feel like you are?

Well if you read my response to question number two, you pretty much know my answer. :)

5. “Every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That’s what makes a woman come alive.”

Do you see those desires in your own heart? In the movies that you love? In your dreams? In your disappointments?

Yes, yes, and yes. I long to be romanced, and I desperately want to be important enough to play an irreplaceable role in so many people’s lives. I’d love to have great beauty to unveil to Someone besides God. :)

I do see these desires in my dreams. I especially see it in my hard times, sad times, and disappointments. Why? Because those are often the things I am sad or disappointed in.

6. “Whatever it means to bear God’s image, you do so as a woman…Your feminine heart has been created with the greatest of all possible dignities—as a reflection of God’s own heart…the journey to discover what God meant when he created woman in his image—when he created you as his woman—that journey begins with your heart.”

Is it a new thought to you that your heart as a woman is the most important thing about you? What does that mean to you?

Growing up in the church, I’ve been told that my heart is super important. “Guard your heart,” is a line I’ve heard multiple times. And it’s good advice, because everything flows from the heart. If I’m having a horrible attitude, my heart is probably dirty. There’s probably stuff I need to ask forgiveness for. When my heart feels like and there’s not much to complain about, every day seems better.

You can ask my family…it’s obvious when my heart isn’t right with God. I’m not very nice to be around.

And on that positive note, come back tomorrow or Sunday for more captivating thoughts on Captivating.

I’m lame. I know.