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A Miracle on May 26th

A Miracle on May 26th

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | May 26, 2015 | Broken and Raw, Community, Faithful, friendship

Hey Jesus, You know I whispered and shouted and repeated these words one thousand times and still they’re much too small, much too insignificant, completely unworthy of what You deserve. But thank you. Thank you one million times over. For the way grass feels in...

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MY BOOK // Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between

Even If Not: Living, Loving and Learning in the in Between

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The promise-maker in Malachi is the promise-keeper The promise-maker in Malachi is the promise-keeper in Matthew.⁣ ⁣ Emmanuel, God with us forevermore. This weary world and our weary hearts have a very good reason to rejoice: Everything sad will come untrue for Light has come, Love has won, and even now all is being made new.⁣ ⁣ And so: May we be a people who wait well, who cling to hope when the night is long, who remember and believe even in the silence that darkness doesn’t get the final word.⁣ ⁣ Hope is here.⁣ ⁣ The Story is in good hands.
It’s overwhelming, really. Heartbreaking and bea It’s overwhelming, really. Heartbreaking and beautiful, powerful and astounding, tender and moving. I stood in the center and turned slowly, pausing at one with a big heart and a simple prayer: Dear God, please take care of PaPaw in heaven.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been here before, to this small wooden church inside a bustling store on Main Street, a place to write, to say, to leave a prayer. A space to pause in the middle of the chaos and the noise. I’ve said before that it feels like a real-life, walk inside and look around visual of this quote from @KristenStrong: “We’re not over in the margins of God’s best for us; we’re in the middle.”⁣ ⁣ In the middle of a mess, sometimes. In the middle of the story, surely. In the middle of God’s best, even if we can’t see it or make sense of it yet, always.⁣ ⁣ The room is just as full as it always is, new words left behind in faith, in grief, in hope… an overwhelming number of prayers, to say nothing of each one spoken around the world at any given moment. I couldn’t help but whisper my own at the smallest glimpse of all He hears at every moment of the day: Dear God, it’s all so much.⁣ ⁣ No one was nearby. There wasn’t a voice. But four words tapped my shoulder, there in a tiny church on Main.⁣ ⁣ I am not overwhelmed.⁣ ⁣ No one is missed. There’s no voice saying “hold on, I’ll be with you shortly” or “sorry, this voicemail box is full.” It’s all cared-for and carried; God hears it all and holds it all. It’s astounding.⁣ ⁣ It might all be so much, but it is not too much. Your circumstances are not too much. You are not too much. God is not overwhelmed.⁣ ⁣ 🙏🏻 May you see God’s kindness in ways you couldn’t have imagined when you woke up this morning, and may you find a quiet place to take a deep breath, even if it appears in the middle of the hustle and bustle of all the to-dos and to-buys and to-attends. You are seen and heard and so very loved. You aren’t on the margins of God’s goodness.⁣ ⁣ P.s. Sometimes it’s difficult to find the words to write, to say, to leave… If you could use someone praying for you today, it would be my honor to do so. Leave a heart emoji below and I’ll know.⁣ 💛
A while back, one of my closest friendships disapp A while back, one of my closest friendships disappeared. It didn’t slowly shift from a song to static to silence—instead, a switch flipped. It cut in ways I doubt I'll ever put into pixelated words, and as time went on and life continued, one by one each of my close friends moved away for work, for family, for marriage. Song, static, silence. Home, for me, is where my people are. Suddenly, my people were no longer here and it felt like starting over in a city I knew but no longer recognized. I almost left, almost moved, but God was abundantly clear even though I had absolutely no idea why He said it:⁣ ⁣ Stay.⁣ ⁣ Another year passed. Year—a small word that feels like a long time in the living of it. I must have prayed three thousand times for friends in this city, the kind that actually live out the "doing life together" cliché, sharing the daily-ness of life. I longed for it even as I was wary of it, unsure I could trust it to hold for more than a moment, aware it might disappear.⁣ ⁣ This weekend, many of my people sat under pretty lights and helped me welcome 30. You rarely see their faces because I'm a smidge protective of their privacy, but what you're looking at is an answered prayer. Believe me—we get it wrong. See: humans. But we've made the choice for several years now: life together. Birthdays and funerals, day in and day out, roots growing down deep, a hundred blurry pictures because there's always a story being told.⁣ ⁣ If you’ve been burned or have felt alone in a crowd, if you’ve struggled to trust again or have been forgotten… I am so, so sorry. Also, me too. Also also, it’s guaranteed to happen again because people are people-y and community is messy. But I can say without a doubt, it's worth fighting for, investing in, showing up for time and again. It's worth the work, the wait and the tears.⁣ ⁣ It isn't easy. But it's worth it.⁣ ⁣ If you're lonely today, know I'm praying for you. Truly. And I will believe it for you: your people are already on the way. 💛 #EvenIfNotBook
This is 30. No edits, no make up, creases from wor This is 30. No edits, no make up, creases from worrying and crinkles from smiling, me. ☺️ Every time November 16th arrives, I can't help but remember a conversation from a hot summer afternoon. One sentence (”I’m so sorry to tell you this, but you have a brain tumor.”) forever changed how I see my birthday, the marking of a year, the gift of time. I was 17. It was June 30th, the beginning of a new chapter. Now, 30 gets to mean the beginning of a new decade.⁣ ⁣ The unfiltered truth is that this isn’t what I thought my right-now life would look like. It isn’t what I pictured and there are dreams that have died. And also: I'm fully convinced that the One who gave those dreams is the Author of my story, and He can be trusted.⁣ This is Plan A. There's nothing accidentally missing, and while there are things I wish I had that I don't, I actually have so much more than I deserve.⁣ Abundantly, immeasurably, outrageously⁣ more.⁣ ⁣ I don’t have a “30 things I learned before I turned 30” list for you, but I’ll tell you 5 things I know for sure, words I wish I could go back and tell that 17-year-old girl:⁣ ⁣ ♥️ Choosing to hope can be costly. Hope anyway.⁣ ♥️ The work God does within us while we wait is just as important as whatever it is we’re waiting for.⁣ ♥️ Community is worth fighting for. Again and again and yes, again.⁣ ♥️ God’s with-ness will not waver and His faithfulness will never fail.⁣ ♥️ The Author is kind and good. Always, in all ways.⁣ ⁣ This is 30 and I’m thankful to see it. It doesn’t look like I thought it would, but my word it’s good. 😭⁣ ⁣ 💬 Would you be willing to share your wisdom? I’d love to hear, what’s one thing you’d tell your 30-year-old self?
May hope take you by surprise. May your day hold u May hope take you by surprise. May your day hold unexpected space to breathe and plenty of room to rest. May you experience a gentle breeze if the high is 79, the warmth of sunlight if the high is 49, and laughter if it flips from one to the other overnight. May you pause and still for a moment or ten, and if guilt or shame try to sit down beside, may you choose to kindly but firmly scoot them over to make room for grace and delight. May you delight in leaves that cover like confetti, in the familiar voice of a friend, and in the sunset stretching like a blanket as the day comes to a close. May you catch a glimpse of one season slowly fading into the next, and may it be a reminder that God is still at work. The story isn’t over just yet, and sometimes the ending of one thing creates space—in the branches, in our schedules, in us—for a new beginning. May you see the light through the trees, in the flicker of a candle, and in the face of another. May hope take you by surprise.⁣ ⁣ — from me to you, a blessing for your day 🍁🫶🏻
The thing is… to see God make a way through the The thing is… to see God make a way through the wilderness, we have to be in the very place we don’t want to be. To desperately long for the creation of a river of life in the wasteland, we have to actually find ourselves thirsty, throats parched and feet blistered, weary from walking in a dry and desolate desert. But in all honesty, we want the clear path without the wilderness, the river without the wasteland.⁣ ⁣ Or, at least I do.⁣ ⁣ I’m learning—in very real time, as recently as this morning—to pray for a miracle, for a way to be made where there seems to be absolutely no possible way… and to say at the very same time that I want Him more than the answered prayer. That I want the Giver more than the gift, the Way Maker more than the way made.⁣ ⁣ When I read this verse, I can’t help but think of the Israelites wandering in circles for forty years. Forty. Years. Two words, just ten letters, and yet to live that out day after day after day after day after day… it puts things in perspective and offers hope like an anchor in the waves of right here and right now. Because we get to see: the promise maker was a promise keeper. He kept His word. He brought them through. He really did provide, really did guide, really did stay with every step of the way, really did make a way.⁣ ⁣ Through. Through. Through.⁣ With. With. With.⁣ ⁣ God, give us eyes to see and hearts that believe You never lead us into the desert to desert us. Remind us that You’re a God who comes close, stays beside, and walks with. Help us want the Miracle Worker more than the miracle itself, and also, Lord, would You please make a way? We know You can; we ask that You will. You’re the God of Through, the God of with-ness, the God who sustains, and we’ll say You’re good no matter where You lead—desert sand or Promised Land. Would you grant us strength for today and hope for tomorrow? We believe it: The story might include time in the wilderness, but that’s never where the story ends. You’ll bring us all the way Home. Amen.⁣ ⁣ #EvenIfNotBook | Lettering: @thehoneydesignco
“Things are just so heavy.” On this side of th “Things are just so heavy.” On this side of the screen, in the lives of my nearest and dearest, “heavy” is the most commonly used word to describe, well, everything right now. We take turns pointing one another to the truth, to the light that flickers and glimmers and shines through the dark of night, but also: things are heavy. There’s no use sugarcoating it or pretending it away.⁣ ⁣ The waves just keep on coming, knocking us down before we can catch our breath. We’re praying for the storms to still, for the chaos to calm. We’re looking to the One who walks on the waters that rise and rise and somehow keep rising. He is faithful and true, good and kind. He knows a thing or two about rising. But for now, it’s heavy. For now we’re swallowing salt water, tears mingling with the spray of waves roaring, holding hope for one another and finding Peace is very much with us in the storm even as we wait to hear Him tell the waves “Peace, be still.”⁣ ⁣ If that's you and the ones you love today, may these words be a comfort and a life preserver. We aren't adrift on a sea of chaos. We are His, He is ours, and the waters might rise but we aren’t going to drown. Our personal God truly is sufficient for today. 💛⁣ ⁣ “But now, God’s Message, the God who made you in the first place: “Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you. I’ve called your name. You’re mine. When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end—Because I am God, your personal God, the Holy of Israel, your Savior.” - Isaiah 43:1-3⁣ ⁣ “In the joy and in the sorrow⁣ I find You just the same⁣ And behind my darkest mornings⁣ There's a peace I can't explain⁣ I'm so grateful for Your favor⁣ Your mercy and Your grace⁣ 'Cause they go on forever⁣ They're sufficient for today⁣ ⁣ One day I'll finally see You⁣ And my faith will be my sight⁣ And all my present suffering⁣ Will be gone and left behind⁣ I'll be standing in Your favor⁣ Your mercy and Your grace⁣ 'Cause they go on forever⁣ They still go on forever⁣ All glory to Your name”⁣ @maverickcitymusic, Sufficient for Today
He is the God of seasons,⁣ with us in every one, He is the God of seasons,⁣ with us in every one,⁣ working in our waiting⁣ while preparing what’s to come.⁣ ⁣ We don’t know what tomorrow will bring,⁣ but we know how the story will end.⁣ ⁣ He will carry us all the way Home.⁣ ⁣ “I am one in whom Christ dwells and delights. I live in the strong and unshakable kingdom of God. The kingdom is not in trouble, and neither am I.” - James Bryan Smith⁣ ⁣ Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
A parade of princesses and firefighters and superh A parade of princesses and firefighters and superheroes walked by outside the coffee shop as I blinked back tears, smiling at the cursor blinking back next to “The End.” According to my camera roll, at 4:52pm on Halloween I finished the very last edit of #EvenIfNotBook.⁣ ⁣ Last week, a friend and I met for lunch and were both in tears within two minutes. Things are just heavy over here. Maybe it’s A Lot where you are, too? We talked about how the waves keep coming, about how the rain keeps falling, about how people we love are hurting, about how saying “I know You could do XYZ, but I'll love You and trust You even if not” is so much easier to write than to live out. (And it’s not exactly easy to write out. 😂)⁣ ⁣ You think you’re writing about what’s happened before, telling the story of what you’ve already lived—and that’s true. But let me tell you what no one told me: you keep living it out as you write and then, also, for the rest of your actual life. Because the question is, do you (still) believe it? Do the words hold true?⁣ ⁣ I do. And they do. But also, as I told her, I might opt for a book about amazing desserts next time. 😉⁣ ⁣ When I wrote that final sentence on a Halloween afternoon, I didn’t know the storms that would come… but I can tell you this, this truth that we held to and repeated, there at a table in the corner, pizza slices in hand: The wind and the waves still know His name. Even when the waters rise, He’s still good on every single page of the story. He is what holds true in every high and low and in between.⁣ ⁣ It’s Halloween again. The rain is falling. And: God is still good.⁣ ⁣ Both/and. Praise God, He’s faithful and present in the “and” (&) of it all. God doesn’t leave when the waters rise; He’s with us in the boat, in both the hope & the heartbreak.⁣ ⁣ The middle place you find yourself in?⁣ ⁣ It isn’t “The End.” 💛
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