I’ve never been good at math. And I don’t mean “Oh, I’m decent but it’s not my thing. I’ll make good grades and hey, I loved algebra, but I’d rather do A, B, or C.”
No. I’m just really straight up terrible at math. I’ve got 2+2 down but I had to retake algebra and don’t even mention the word trigonometry.
There’s one math problem that makes a whole lot of sense, though. It’s a little hard to live by, but it adds up (hey, see what I did there?).
Joy shared is joy multiplied. Grief shared is grief divided.
It’s hard to live out because, well, at least for me I like to handle it all on my own. Asking for help is not weak, but it often feels it. Admitting I’m not doing well can feel like I’m not only letting my guard down, but I’m letting myself down by not being strong or capable.
It’s false. I know it is. The walls we put up are the same walls that keep community out and lock us in.
And, oddly enough, sharing joys can feel like bragging. But when friends share their happy things and reasons to celebrate, not for one split second do I think “Oh wow.. that was a little prideful.” Yet sometimes that’s what keeps me from sharing joyful news.
So maybe we could just share. The sad and the happy and the mundane in the middle.
Tonight I invite you to share in the comments wherever you’re at, whatever you’re thinking, whatever page your story finds itself on tonight.
I know it’s hard. I know. Here, I’ll go first.
Today is my last day at home. I’m currently sitting indian-style atop my bed typing this out. It’s been over two hours since I’ve cried and that’s about the longest I’ve gone so far today. Tomorrow I’ll leave bright and early to head to the other place I call home for my last semester of college and the weird thing is, that isn’t what’s making me so sad. All it takes is thinking about pulling out of the neighborhood or a quick look around my empty room for the tears to start pouring out.
My home of so many years feels like a house. I’ll leave one last time and next time I come back my room will likely look quite different, as one of my brothers will move in and paint, changing things around. It’s how it should be, but that doesn’t make it easy. I’ve spent the past two days cleaning everything and sorting into the piles we all know – keep, donate, throw away. I’m a memories person and everything in here is a treasure to me because of the memories each item holds. But now it’s all packed up in boxes because I won’t be coming back except for visits. I’ve packed for a chapter I’m not even in.
My walls are bare. The pictures have been taken down. All that’s left is to grab my pillow and computer bag in the morning. It’s empty and my heart feels the same.
There is great joy waiting for me in Birmingham and I know that these four walls will hold joy again. But right now, in this moment, I simply feel sad. One chapter is closing and it won’t be opened again. I’m hopeful and anticipating the chapters to come. Truly. But sometimes it’s just hard to turn the page.
Now, friends, it’s your turn. Share with me in the comments?
Every Thursday night the prompt goes up and #fmfparty slows down. We write. We breathe out our hearts, sharing the hurts and the joys and splitting hearts and words wide open. Come join us?
Kaitlyn,
I LOVED the “math” at the beginning of your post, I had to share it with others who make this a reality in my life. :) So true. Good luck with your last semester! I’ve never been able to go through a major change without a good amount of emotion to boot. I will be checking back here to following along on your new adventures. Keep writing! Visiting from FMF.
Ha – it’s so unfortunately true! Math is not my thing. Thanks for journeying with me.
This is such a wonderful, wonderful post. Praying for you! :)
Today was just another day. I’m blessed to have honestly the greatest teachers I could ask for. They’re all fantastic. Life is looking up right now. I’m currently in the middle of changing friends, as the ones I’ve had no longer hold the same values as me, and it’s sometimes lonely but it’s been getting better. I’ve been getting to know some new people, and it’s really great.
Thank you for the fantastic words. :) I love this little corner of the internet.
That’s a hard place to be.. in the middle of change.. Will be thinking of you this week, Sofia. I hope you find that community and that you don’t give up, that you’ll remain open and be that community for others, too.
It IS hard to move from a “comfortable, known” place to an unknown…and I’ve been on both sides – my youngest daughter left Florida to attend college in Wheaton, IL where she spent her whole 4-year college experience…that was years ago, of course!! And, I have done several changes myself; 1st marriage; joining my husband in Germany after only 4 months of marriage; divorce; moving with 2 children to FL; 2nd marriage; 3rd child; raising the kids, etc. and all those challenges…then the jobs…yeah, we won’t go into all of that; just suffice it to say I do understand.
I love reading your words and how “Share” came into it! Thank you for sharing! I may get mine done, but just not writing much lately…need to get back to it!!
I enjoyed learning these new (to me) things about you, Barbara! Thanks for sharing! p.s. keep writing
I feel your pain acutely today Kaitlyn. Heading back to Florida tomorrow. I’m not good at goodbyes. I hate them. I believe it’s one of the worst things that happened after the fall. I’m crying too. ❤️
There’s a quote about that that I love, though… “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
Yes, it’s true and I am so thankful for the hard goodbyes.
Ah, “Share”, my word for 2014. A great and awful word, all in one. :) Share for me meant change: Knocking down those walls that were built for protection, opening up to community, learning to trust. That all was awful cuz it was scary. But it became great when I found love and support and that other people opened up and shared too. We all have a story and are truly on the same path, trying to figure out life.
I love that.. it was awful but became great. Like beauty from ashes.
You’ll be welcomed in your new place!!! I hope you could have great opportunities and joy as well… May God bless you!!!
Thank you!
Wow, you said things along the lines of what I was thinking this week. Sometimes we are afraid to share where we are at because we don’t want to appear too weak or too strong. I’m trying really hard to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. I used to think it seemed disingenuous. But not anymore. I can acknowledge the sorrow of one friend without diminishing the joy of another (or my own). Thanks for sharing this.
That’s a good word – “I can acknowledge the sorrow of one friend without diminishing the joy of another (or my own).”
What a powerful post. Thank you for inviting us into this time of your life. Your words take me back in time and I can relate to your emotions about taking this big step. Thank you, also, for sharing your gift of writing. It truly blessed me today, and I’m so glad I stopped by. Peace on the journey, and may Christ point you to the beauty of each and every page of your life. :)
Karen, I’m glad you stopped by too. :) Thank you for those kind words.
Yeah, its sometimes hard to turn the page. Love your post. Love your unfathomable maths question. [Where am I at? Joys: my son has discovered the joy of reading: he read half of 20,000 leagues under the sea yesterday! Sadnesses: my upcoming divorce, the upheaval a friend is going through as she waits for some medical results – life is life is life…]
Oh I looooove reading so that’s great to hear! Books are a love and open the door to so many new places. I’m so sorry to hear about the sadnesses… I hope this week is one full of smiles!
Your post and these comments are bringing tears to my eyes. I’m here alone in our office at the beautifully odd hour of 4:41 a.m. I wake early…really early. God stirs me awake to have quiet time with him and catch up on social media. I treasure it and the hot tea and honey that go with it.
I know what it is like to leave for college and for your room to change. However, turning those pages brings you to new chapters! I am thankful my parents still live in the house I grew up in when I was a child. Although now…my mom uses my bedroom and when our boys come to visit Granny and Papa…they use that room. Funny how things change. I grew up with a twin bed…now mom has a full bed in there for guests and for herself…my dad snores terribly and wakes really early…she likes to stay up late and sleep in quietly…weird…I hope that I still sleep with my husband in our older years…but hey at least they are still married! :) I know God works individual stories out. I pray your final semester at college is fabulous, and I pray you continue to let God unfold your story and bravely share the joy and grief that come ahead of you…there will be many a grey and sunny day! One day at a time love. One tear at a time…one smile at a time. You’ve got this! Jenn
Oh my.. what an early time of day! 4 should only exist with a ‘pm’ right after it. But I’m glad to have you here and thank you for sharing in the comments! You’re right, one day at a time.
Kaityln,
“The walls we put up are the same walls that keep community out and lock us in.”
This particular quote spoke to me in a very real way. I am coming from a season of doing just that — locking myself in and keeping community out. I am so thankful that God never gives up on His own and continues to gently remind us what we really need. I am seeking community now, looking for opportunities to share Christ’s love and ways to intentionally build relationships. And I am incredibly excited for the future and filled with hope…because my Father holds me in His hand.
Praying for you as you enter your final semester and experience all the joys and challenges that await you. Finish strong and keep letting Jesus shine through you!
~Liz
Liz, thank you so much for sharing with me here! I hope that you’ll continue to take those walls down and invite community in…
oh how I remember those things from a parent’s point of view. praying for youj
Thank you for your prayers, Laura!
I love your graphic at the topic about joy and grief and how sharing changes them. It reminds me of a book my husband shared with me called Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon by Spider Robinson. The main character, Callahan, has a bar and the motto of his place is “Shared sorrow is lessened; shared joy is increased” and people do a lot of sharing of both joy and sorrow at his place (usually while standing in the middle of the room and then tossing their glass into the huge fireplace to shatter instead of turning it back in for a 25 cent refund) and every time I read that book, I yearn for a place like that where community comes together and shares together. It’s not there yet for me, but the #FMF community is beginning to feel a little bit like home. I SO understand how you feel about leaving home. My childhood home is literally just a house now because my parents moved this past August to a new house to accommodate my dad’s more limited mobility. It was a very odd sort of feeling the last time I was there just before they moved and my bedroom (with its bubblegum pink walls and mint green trim) was empty. I hope you have a lovely last day in your room and that what awaits you in Birmingham (I’m assuming you’re staying after you graduate?) is everything you are hoping it will be. God bless!
I haven’t heard of that book but it sounds like an interesting one! And welcome to the Five Minute Friday community.. I’m so glad to hear it’s beginning to feel like home, although that doesn’t surprise me. It is such a welcoming place and one of those spaces online where the saying “there’s always room for one more” totally applies. Thanks for stopping by here tonight!
This is the first time learning about #fmfparty and reading the posts that goes along with it. You, my new friend, have blown me away with yours. I feel overwhelmed with emotion as I read your words- and when you say, “but sometimes it’s just hard to turn the page.” is a thunderous statement and extremely true. You invited us to share our story tonight and I’ll do my best to summarize the days events. A co-worker (and my friend) received a tragic call today. Her husband and young son were in an accident and her husband lost his life. We praise God because her son was spared but the agony of which she must feel has got to be overwhelming. I have prayed and prayed today for her and her family. Then, I come to your blog and read something that sunk deep into my heart. “Joy shared is joy multiplied. Grief shared is grief divided.” You reminded me that we must have joy even in the most difficult times. We must praise God for the life we have and have had with those we love. It’s a terrible loss for her but I pray she remembers and celebrates the life with her husband. That she remembers the love they had and rejoices for the time spent together. I pray that she doesn’t become bitter or depressed, blaming God for turning her life upside down. Instead, I pray she turns to Him and He pours out his peace and comfort over her and her children. We aren’t promised tomorrow. We’re not even promised today. So, I was reminded today that we must live our lives- every second- trying to walk the path God has laid out for us.
Thank you for this post this evening. Please know God has used your words to comfort a hurting soul.
Shanon it is my pleasure to “meet” you here today. Welcome to the Five Minute Friday community! There’s nothing quite like it and you’ll be welcomed right in. Thank you for your kind words toward me and this post – they’re much appreciated. I’m so glad that God used them tonight. I’m very sorry to hear about your friend’s husband and son. If you would and are comfortable with it, shoot me a DM on Twitter with your friends name so I can be praying for her and also for her son? I’m sure you will be such a comfort to her, even through prayer.
I remember that feeling, sweet friend! All exciting and terrifying at once. You are going to do great!! So proud of you. xoxo
So I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to meeting you in person some day. :)