I couldn’t tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday (come to think of it, I don’t think I had breakfast, but that’s beside the point), but I can tell you where I want to be a week, three months, or five years from now.
I’m a planner.
I google and chart and color coordinate spreadsheets because I want to. Part of the fun of it all, no matter the length of the road trip or the project I’m beginning, is to dream and plan and make lists.
I have a list book, for goodness sake. And yes, that’s exactly what you would imagine it to be. A spiral bound notebook full of list after list of anything imaginable.
There aren’t many memories from childhood that have stuck with me, but I’ve never forgotten a conversation with Nana where I likely was planning some surprise or adventure and she responded with a half-smile and a quiet sentence:
“We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.”[Proverbs 16:9]
I didn’t like that.
What was so wrong with a grand adventure? Why is it a problem if I make plans with a friend?
And maybe back then it was innocent planning but even at a young age, a piece of me went against the idea that my plans could be anything less than best.
It’s not like I was planning anything wrong at the age of nine.
It’s not like interviewing for post-graduation jobs now is wrong.
It’s not bad to have a dream job or goal and work towards it.
But I’ve learned that in my planning I often place control in my hands and responsibility on my shoulders, but the world is not on my shoulders – it’s in His hands. The Story of my life is mine, yes, but I’ve placed it in the hands of the Author – so why do I scribble notes in the margins and rush ahead to write the next chapter?
I have big dreams for the future, hopes that scare the living daylight out of me and goals I want to reach. And I think that’s more than okay.
Dreaming can be some of the scariest, bravest hoping we ever do.
Nana’s lesson was never “don’t dream, Kaitlyn” but “when you dream, remember Who is already there in that future you’re thinking of.”
You don’t know where you’re going? Great, me neither. You have dreams but don’t know how to reach them? Let’s sit and talk awhile. I have a little secret to tell you:
It’s okay to know where you want to be without knowing how to get there.
Didn’t someone say once that it isn’t so much the destination but the journey?
So let’s journey together. You and your community and most importantly, the One who writes the stories of our lives and loves to see His children dream.
Maybe it’s not so much in the knowing but in the going.
Steady. Faithful. Trusting. One step at a time.