My brave may not look like your brave. In fact, it probably won’t.
We were driving along a winding road somewhere just north of Nashville when those words left my lips.
With four girls in the car, we were going back and forth, offering opinions and wisdom to one another, all revolving around having a significant other. (Or not.)
I offered a thought or two and then simply said, “It may not make sense, and I know there’s another side to it, but right now this feels hard. I have my hard and you have your hard, and they are both valid. Neither is more than or less than the other, they simply are.”
To which someone said “You need to tweet that.”
And thus, this blog post began.
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About 18 months ago I was sitting in church on a regular Sunday morning when God straight up got my attention. I had been reading Acts for years at this point. Literally, years. I moved to college in the middle of my home church going through Acts, started attending a church in Birmingham that, conveniently, was also walking through Acts, and eventually ended up at my home church here. My first Sunday visiting he opened the Word and said, “Well, you know that we’re going to be walking through the book of Acts for a while here.”
I laughed out loud at God’s irony.
I don’t know if that’s something that should be admitted or not, but it’s the truth. He is so dang funny, because who managed to end up in three churches all walking through Acts? THIS GIRL. God had some things to teach me from Acts, apparently. But I digress.
Where were we? Acts. (Of course.)
I had heard the stories before, listened to the sermons on these chapters, when suddenly I found myself reading and re-reading Acts 27. The pastor kept preaching and life went on but I couldn’t make sense of the story.
Paul is a prisoner and is onboard a boat that has set sail for Rome. He warned the ship’s officers that the waves looked too dangerous to continue on to their next destination, but they continued anyway. On the fourteenth night of the storm, which is described as “blotting out the sun and the stars, until at last all hope was gone,” the sailors tried to abandon ship. An angel of the Lord told Paul they would wreck but would all live, and so he told the men that they must all stay in order to make it to safety.
And then the part where God flipped the switch inside: The soldiers cut the ropes to the lifeboat.
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On our last morning in Nashville, 17 of us sat in a large circle listening as Mary shared from Matthew 14. She was speaking about bravery, she was telling truth, and she encouraged us to get out of the boat. How else can we walk on water with Jesus?
It was good stuff. But inside I was replaying Acts 27 . Because while Mary’s brave looks like walking on water, mine looks like staying right where I am.
My brave is choosing to stay. My brave is standing still. My brave is sitting down, getting small, and holding on.
It hasn’t made sense, not even once, when I speak out loud that Birmingham was the harder choice. But it’s my truth. Packing up and moving somewhere totally new would have been the easy way out – for me. I wanted the adventure, the new-ness, and the big plans. They scared me, but they thrilled me even more. Choosing to stay in a place where I still know the major highways but I don’t know a single person with a life that looks like my in-between, staying in a place where my heart feels 7 miles down the road behind those Samford gates, but I work at a cute little white desk in an empty, silent apartment…
That is my hard.
And that is my brave.
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Abandoning ship would have been easier. But they cut the ropes. They said yes to riding out the storm no matter the cost.
The ship wrecked.
It straight up wrecked and fell apart, pieces floating every which way, tossed about by the raging sea.
Had the ship stayed together, they would have run into the island. But it broke apart, and perhaps it felt like their only hope of survival broke with the broken pieces.
But they jumped into the sea, held onto the wooden planks, and the very boat that broke became their safety net, drifting and floating safely to shore.
My brave looks like staying in the boat until it either breaks or He calls to me from the water.
Whatever your hard is – getting out of the boat and walking, or staying still and trusting – your brave is your brave. It is big. It is important. It may not look like what was expected, it might not be exciting, and it may not make sense. But it is your brave.
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I recently read a book titled Brave Enough that you may enjoy. Although it was not at all one of my favorites, it discusses getting over fears and choosing to live bold and free. The message is a great one, but the writing style was simply not for me. (I received a copy of Nicole Unice’s book to review for free, in exchange for my honest opinion.)
Great post! Thank you so much for sharing at Women With Intention Wednesdays!
Ironically, I’ve been asking God what my brave moment is. And then I read your words, “My brave is choosing to stay. My brave is standing still. My brave is sitting down, getting small, and holding on.” And I think I know what my brave is, at least for now.Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart.
We can be brave together, huh? :)
Beautifully said! I love God’s sense of humor. Missing you!
Thanks friend! So glad we got to meet.
We were in Acts 27 last week at church. Can I tell you how “on time” this was for me today? :)
Love that!
this, kaitlyn, is brave. and it is beautiful! i am learning so much in my own brave this year, as for us, it meant relocating cross-country and cross-culture… learning that even within our own little country, people look so different… and yet so much the same. and for me, too, brave is often the still, small, and not the big and loud. thank you for the beautiful perspective!!
Yes… I wrote a couple months ago about the spiritual practice of quiet and it has stuck with me. Brave is often the still, the small.
If only I could figure out what my brave is supposed to be… Should I go or should I stay?!?! ;). Oh kaitlyn, I love your words and really should read them more often! Such encouragement and truth to be found here! Thank you for sharing your brave!
Thank you friend! Glad to have you here.
Its interesting that the Lord will use his children to speak words of encouragement into His other children just when they need it. Sometimes staying is the hardest thing to do but its what He has called us to do for right now. The only thing I can do is ask for the strength to stay put and the ability to serve Him with joy and gladness while I am here.
I’m totally with you on that. The strength to stay and the desire to serve with joy while you’re here.
Thank you so much for this post. You gave me a whole new perspective on that piece of scripture. Those times when we aren’t feeling brave enough might be the times we are the bravest. Great word!
That’s so neat to hear… thanks for commenting and telling me! I had read the passage multiple times (because clearly, Acts was showing up everywhere). But sometimes it’s like He just opens our eyes to a new meaning. A treasure hunt in a way. :)
Wonderful post. I appreciate the open-minded concept that some things look different for different people. Always something to remember in our faith journeys. Love the pictures too!
I totally agree, our journey can be so different from each other and yet none are the lesser for it. Great post…again!
Kaitlyn, wonderful application of the Acts passage. So true, sometimes it takes more courage to stay than to leave on the adventure.
Kate, I’m not next door to you at the raralinkup but I’m a house away in spot 122 – I don’t get to visit your place often and took advantage of being so close today and I am so very glad I did. Your brave is similar to mine. 2 years ago I was ready to get out and walk on that water but the Lord had other plans and left me in the boat. But oh! what a glorious lesson of contentment He has taught me as we ride the waves together! xo
I’m #123 not 122!!!!!
Well I love that you came over anyway, thank you! And yes… what a huge lesson it is in contentment.
This post is such a blessing to me! Thank you for speaking the truth. It’s beautiful!
hugs, friend.
Kaitlyn, LOVED this post! Funny thing is the church I work/serve at is working our way through Acts this summer. I am actually preaching on Sunday about Euchtycus. This post spoke so much to me girl. My one word for 2015 is brave! SO MUCH THIS: “Whatever your hard is – getting out of the boat and walking, or staying still and trusting – your brave is your brave. It is big. It is important. It may not look like what was expected, it might not be exciting, and it may not make sense. But it is your brave.” Wish we would have been able to meet in real life next weekend…someday we hopefully will! :)
Yes, hopefully someday!
This is great, Kaitlyn. I love this!
thanks girl :)
Wow I love this. I’ve experienced this so much with friends in different seasons, and it’s so good to remember that no one’s pain or fear or doubt is harder than anyone else’s. We each experience our pain uniquely, and sharing it is so much more helpful than comparing. Thanks for this beautiful encouragement, Kaitlyn!
Yes –> “I have my hard and you have your hard, and they are both valid. Neither is more than or less than the other, they simply are.” Loved that, Kaitlyn. There’s wisdom there, and obviously in Acts as well. :-) There’s a sweetness in this post and aroma of Christ. Lovely. Visiting via #tellHisstory
I really appreciate your words. Thank you!
Hi, Kaitlyn! Thanks for your beautiful words. My “brave” right now is being still and not doing moms’ ministry like I have almost every year since I have been a mom. It is a hard transition, but I am confident that this is exactly where God wants me. This post also reminded me of when I took a new job and moved to Texas to get engaged to my boyfriend 21 years ago. I then called off the engagement because I knew deep down inside that it was not God’s best for me. It would have been so easy to move back home to be close to my family. But I knew God wanted me to stay. One year later I met my husband. ; ) May you know that God is walking beside you holding your right hand. Hugs!
I love having you visit here! :) Hoping that that “free time” you have now will be filled with something new and beautiful.
No words to say right now because I said so many this past weekend-all time record for me!!!! :) I love the brave that God calls each of us to and I love that we shared brave stories with each other. The one on one conversations were the highlight of the weekend and I was blessed to share one of those moments with you. Thank you for writing this and for being with me as I spoke those brave words in front of you all. I am blessed to know you and all the beautiful FMF retreat ladies. Love you!
It was a gift to be able to talk for a while with you. Definitely one of the highlights of the weekend.
Oh Kaitlyn, I just…I don’t know. Your words feel as if they came out of my own soul. Because I also didn’t want to stay. I wanted my brave to be to go, and yet God called me to return and stay. Which has been so. incredibly. hard.
And also, I love that I got to be there in that car with you, and very grateful that you answered the call to be brave and wrote these beautiful words.
I’m really glad we got to chat a little bit over the weekend. Being brave together.. while staying.
I feel ya girl. My brave is staying right where I am too. And it surely isn’t easy when there are dreams and plans, ideas and aspirations. Holding on with you. :)
Really glad we met!
I am so glad you wrote this so that I could nod in agreement and tweet it! I am in a period of staying in the boat too. God gives us time to just row, sit, listen to His voice and say “thank you for my now.” I loved being in the car with you Saturday night. That was my first time driving a rental car. My brave for the week was that…venturing to a new place, to meet new people, and coming home with sort of the same in the boat feeling. Prayers to you and each of us as we study God’s word sometimes three times the same chapter! ? Jenn Cook
It was great to meet you! I’m glad we got a little bit of time to chat in the car and over the weekend. You’re brave. Totally.