What do you call it when you pray over a relationship for 4.5 years and then God does the straight up impossible, redeeming and renewing what seemed way too far gone, and then you have the honor of writing an intro for the girl who has seen the worst and the best, the broken and the mess and the beauty of a miracle?
I’m just going to call it grace.
October 8, 2013. God picked up the pen and kept on writing a story that appeared to be long over.
October 8, 2014. I wrote out the story of that 2013 Tuesday night, the one when He kept writing and we broke all over again, not knowing He beginning to mend the pieces.
October 8, 2015. It’s her turn to write and to share. Because life can be one big paint splatter and one big mess with too many pieces and shards. At the end of the day, will we say God is good? Because He still is. And the two of us? We have lived it and we know it and we’ll tell you over and over – He is so very, very good.
One of my very best friends (who happens to be the author of this lovely blog you’re reading) once wrote this: “He would have been good if nothing had changed. He would have been faithful if things had stayed the same. God would still be God whether He answered my prayer or not.”
I love these words. It’s so inspiring, right? It’s like, “Yeah! God is awesome no matter what!”
But recently I’ve learned a true test of our faith is this: can we still say those words when we’re at our lowest?
I grew up in church. Every week, you could find me at Awana’s or Sunday school or the church basketball league. There wasn’t a single youth group event that I didn’t participate in. I loved Jesus, I loved my church, I loved my community. For the most part, life was really really good and all I could do was praise Jesus for that.
Then one month before I was supposed to graduate college, my life turned upside down. All of my plans that had been years in the making crumbled, and now I had no idea what I was going to do post-graduation. All of a sudden, things weren’t so fine and dandy and I was faced with the question of “is God still who I’ve said He is all these years?”
I had to decide whether I wanted to fully rely on this God I claimed to believe in or if I was going to let the weight of the world pull me down.
Let me tell you, there is nothing more freeing than fully trusting and believing all of God’s truths. Even when my plans crumble, He still promises a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11). He will still take care of me and will supply all my needs from His glorious riches (Philippians 4:19). He heals my broken heartedness and binds up my wounds (Psalm 147:3). He does confirm, strengthen, and establish me (1 Peter 5:10). He will make a pathway through the wilderness and create rivers in the dry wasteland (Isaiah 43:19). His words soothed my soul like nothing else could and He carried me through that difficult time.
When everything crashed around me, I ran hard and fast to God and He proved to be everything I ever needed and everything I didn’t even know I needed. He is still good, despite my plans failing. He is still the same, even in the midst of my confusion and pain. He is still God, and although my life is not currently how I envisioned it, I know that no matter what, His plans for me are far better than anything I could dream.