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A Blessing for the Changing of the Season

A Blessing for the Changing of the Season

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Nov 22, 2021 | (in)courage, Devotional, Faith, Thanksgiving

I grew up with palm trees overhead and flip-flops on my feet, even on Christmas. After eighteen years of summer year-round, I moved twelve hours north. Fall doesn’t arrive here until mid-November, but it does arrive, and there’s a 100% chance you’ll find me gushing...
Scars Are Miracles Written on Skin

Scars Are Miracles Written on Skin

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Aug 4, 2021 | (in)courage, Beauty, Faith, My Health Story

I sit quietly in the chair as hair falls to the ground. She works quickly and with each snip of the scissors, another question comes my way: Remind me what you do for work? Are you dating anyone? Did you want layers today? I stare at my reflection in the mirror as I...
This Is What Success Looks Like

This Is What Success Looks Like

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Jun 11, 2021 | (in)courage, Brave, Devotional, Faith, writing

You are talented. Before you shake your head, deny those words, and click the little red X on this page, let me ask you a question: Do you remember the parable of the three servants who were given different amounts of talents? In Matthew 25, Jesus tells a story about...
It’s Okay to Not Be Okay Today

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay Today

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | May 12, 2021 | (in)courage, Devotional, Faith, Family

I wrote this article three weeks ago, Nana went Home two weeks ago, and Pap-Pop passed away exactly one year ago… to the day. As someone who loves and remembers dates/details, when I was assigned the May 12th article at incourage.me, I was confident it wasn’t a...
You Have Something to Offer

You Have Something to Offer

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Apr 13, 2021 | (in)courage, Community, Devotional, Faith

My mouth dropped open at the number on the screen. A few minutes earlier, a friend sent a text that a gift was on the way. “It isn’t much . . . but it’s something!” she said, knowing that medical bills were starting to show up and add up. Her “not much” brought me to...
If You’re Somewhere in the Messy Middle

If You’re Somewhere in the Messy Middle

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Sep 14, 2020 | (in)courage, Art, Beauty

Several years ago, I followed an embroidery account on Instagram. The wild creativity and intricate detail drew me in, frequently resulting in wide-eyed wonder at the finished projects. Over and over, I told myself, One day I’m going to try that and This will be the...
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MY BOOK // Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between

Even If Not: Living, Loving and Learning in the in Between

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“Why would God speak so softly in a world that s “Why would God speak so softly in a world that so often needs a blaring wake-up call? I have to conclude that God’s speech patterns indicate how important he considers our listening. If God shouted, listening would not be required, but a whisper forces us to pay attention and to strain to hear his voice. A whispered message assumes that the listener is in proximity to the speaker.” - Adam McHugh (from his fantastic book The Listening Life)⁣ ⁣ OH. KAY.⁣ ⁣ That’s it. That’s the whole caption. Happy Thursday to you, I’ll just be over here sitting with this quote for the rest of the day.⁣ ⁣ Lord, may we have ears to hear. May the pace of our days and where we place our attention testify to our trust in Your goodness, Your nearness, Your timing. Teach us to listen well, that we might discover kindness in the proximity of a whisper. Amen
What I want is a miracle—and instead I receive j What I want is a miracle—and instead I receive just enough strength to carry through the day. I keep praying for power that heals and restores—and God gives grace that sustains. It feels like manna, like exactly enough for today and no more. Nothing extra, nothing in the reserves, no stockpile set aside for a rainy day, a long night, or a winter that endures.⁣ ⁣ But always, manna.⁣ ⁣ “How much longer until XYZ?” I wonder, knowing the path is clear from above. “I won’t leave your side. I’ll be there every step of the way,” God seems to whisper in the wind, the leaves swaying with the afternoon breeze. It’s not the answer I’m asking for, but it’s the promise I need. And miraculously it turns out to be no less of a miracle, the grace that sustains when winter endures.⁣⁣ ⁣ Manna after manna after manna.⁣ Mercy after mercy after mercy.⁣ ⁣ Looking back, fingerprints of His faithfulness mark every page. God was there then and He’s here now, with us in every waiting room, working for our good and His glory. Remembering God’s past faithfulness helps us hold tightly to joy in the present and hope for the future. That doesn’t eliminate our questions, but it reminds us of the story beneath the story: it won’t be long now until winter permanently gives way to resurrection.⁣ ⁣ One day “how much longer?” will be no longer. But for today, we hope. We pray “on earth as it is in heaven.” We remember that God will not be rushed, but neither will He be late. We wait and we trust and we find that it’s true: God really is going to carry us through. 💛
It’s not the first time and it’s unlikely to b It’s not the first time and it’s unlikely to be the last. I cried my way through Ecclesiastes 3 this week. My Bible Study is slowly going through each chapter; on Tuesday we read the familiar words about “a time for everything.” I could go line by line and mentally point to the one I’m leaning toward, like a seesaw between This and That.⁣ ⁣ A time to lament and a time to laugh. A time to shut up and a time to speak up. A time to rip out and a time to mend. A time to mourn and a time to dance. The list goes on and on.⁣ ⁣ The thing is, sometimes it seems like a time OF everything. Sometimes we look around and say yes, there are splashes of brilliant, bright pink but also there’s so much grey. Sometimes we live in the tension of both/and, holding some of This *and* some of That. And, well, it’s A Lot.⁣ ⁣ Absolutely, there are distinct seasons. Also, sometimes it’s murky. Muddy. Messy. It can be winter and spring all at once. Grief and gratitude often go together. Hope and heartache tend to hold hands. But the truth I kept coming back to as I blinked back tears is simply this:⁣ ⁣ God holds time in His.⁣ ⁣ I don’t know about you, but there are a few pages I’m ready to see turn. Let’s switch the direction of the seesaw, please! But that right there is the promise and the hope: the page can turn and it WILL turn. We know how the story ends—and this isn’t it. Not yet. The Author is still writing and He’s not going to stop until the time of everything becomes everything good.⁣ ⁣ The One who is named Faithful and True can and will take all of This and all of That and make it all beautiful.⁣ ⁣ For everything there is a season, and the unchanging God will be with us in every one. Our circumstances don’t change His character and although our Right Now might be a lot, His hands are not too full. Day by day, season by season, through the much-ness of it all... He will carry us all the way Home.⁣ ⁣ God isn't bound by time—He holds it. And He holds us, holds me, holds you, through every season. Amen, thanks be to God.
When the Bible verse that sounds like such a bumme When the Bible verse that sounds like such a bummer turns out to be a promise that’s better than what we can currently imagine. 😭 My Bible Study can vouch for my abundant enthusiasm and commitment to keep an eye out for references to water in Scripture because, well, knowing this? It’s just too good. Like, literally, too good. And once you know it, you see it everywhere.⁣ ⁣ In ancient times, expanses of water were tied to darkness and chaos. The sea was believed to be where evil had a foothold, and it was often featured as God’s opponent.⁣ ⁣ It makes sense, doesn’t it? Think: Noah and the flood, Jonah, the disciples nearly overtaken on the Sea of Galilee. What seems peaceful can quickly become a raging sea or carry a disease. Hurricanes, tsunamis, shipwrecks, contaminated water… Chaos? The unknown? The uncontrollable? It can check all the boxes.⁣ ⁣ But. Also. The Red Sea is split, the Israelites pass through the Jordan at flood stage, water comes from a rock in the wilderness and it’s turned to wine at a wedding banquet. And then of course there’s Jesus, walking on the uncontrollable.⁣ ⁣ All along, God’s goodness is woven through. All along, we’re given a taste of what’s to come. Even now, we’re closer to the fulfillment of Revelation 21:1… one day the sea (chaos) will be no more. Every storm will be stilled and all will be made new, every drop redeemed into a river of Life with waters as clear as crystal (Rev. 22). Fear will be replaced with peace, heartbreak with beauty, possible loss with promised life, devastation with joy. One day, chaos will be permanently calmed.⁣ ⁣ There are days our hearts break as our fingers scroll, and there are very real storms that will never be shown on a screen or posted to a social media feed. But there is a deeper assurance like an anchor in the waves: We are not adrift in a sea of chaos. Beyond what we can see from where we stand today, a way is being made. Even now, the promise is coming true. Chaos never gets the final say.⁣ ⁣ May we watch and wait with hope. The waters might rise, but our friend Jesus is familiar with waves and one day, hallelujah, the sea will be no more.
5 things about this photo:⁣ ⁣ 1. It’s from 2 5 things about this photo:⁣ ⁣ 1. It’s from 2015. I still make this face on the regular. Hashtag I am who I am.⁣ ⁣ 2. It was taken as the “announcement pic” that went with the news of “So umm, guess what, I wrote a book.”⁣ ⁣ 3. I’m holding an ampersand—the symbol for the word “and.” It’s a connector, a sign that keeps the story going while holding space for the middle place, when you’re in between one thing & another, when you don’t know what the next word will be or what the next sentence will bring.⁣ ⁣ 4. The cover of #EvenIfNotBook is covered with interwoven ampersands that I measured & placed one by one by one. (Swipe for the book description & you’ll understand why I love this symbol so much.)⁣ ⁣ 5. Today is my favorite random holiday: National Ampersand Day. If I may, as the day winds down I'd like to quietly remind you & me & all of us in the "and"...⁣ ⁣ So often we want to rush through the messy or mundane middles, hurry to the ending and tie a tidy bow. But the truth is most of our days are lived in the "and" of it all… Hope & heartache. Joy & grief. Loss & laughter. Anticipation & disappointment. Gratitude & overwhelm. Devastation & redemption. Community & loneliness. Belief & unbelief. The list could go on & on because we live in the tension of the Already & the Not Yet, the both/and of the story. I’ve said more “even if nots” this year than I ever have before. I’m in a middle that I do not like one iota, walking through the “and” of sickness & healing, trusting & waiting, betrayal & restoration, broken & mended etcetc. It’s messy. And it’s good, in its own way, because it’s here in the ampersand that I’ve found God’s goodness doesn’t waver or run out… instead, it’s the thread running all the way through, leaving fingerprints on every page of the story.⁣ ⁣ So for you & me & everyone in an in between on Ampersand Day, a small reminder of a truth that holds: The hidden gift of being in the middle, when we can’t see how the story is going to end, is that if we’re in the middle, then it can’t possibly be "The End." There’s more to come. God will be enough here & now; and He'll be faithful there & then.
Words for the coming days… Take whichever one(s) Words for the coming days… Take whichever one(s) you need. 🫶🏻
It’s late and I’m guessing most are fast aslee It’s late and I’m guessing most are fast asleep, two words sitting next to one another my body doesn’t understand. Chronic insomnia is a thief that moves slowly, cleaning house one toss and turn and tick tock at a time.⁣ ⁣ But if you’re here and you’re scrolling, if you’re here and you just can’t sleep, if you’re here and you’re struggling or grieving or worried or overwhelmed?⁣ ⁣ You aren’t alone. I’m here, repeating the breath prayer (Psalm 91:1) below and lighting a candle for you. For me. For all of us. It’s small and it’s flickering, but it’s something. A little bit of light, pushing back the darkness.⁣ ⁣ (breathe in) Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High…⁣ (breath out) will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.⁣ ⁣ Sometimes I need to hear “Hold on. Don’t give up just yet!” But tonight I’m lighting a candle and simply remembering this: We’re already and always held.⁣ ⁣ In my experience, Hope doesn’t shout “Try harder. Do more. Be better. Toughen up.”⁣ Instead, Hope leans in close and gently whispers “I’ll stay with you as the night stretches on and even if you let go, I’ll keep holding on. Rest, love. All will be well. I’ve got this and I’ve got you. I won’t let go.”⁣ ⁣ You and I… we’re covered. We’re safe. We can rest and breathe, drop our guard and just be. There is grace for this moment and the next one too. God will stay by our side. Come hell or high water, midnight or morning, God isn’t going anywhere.⁣ ⁣ "The LORD will send his faithful love by day; his song will be with me in the night — a prayer to the God of my life." - Psalm 42:8⁣⁣ ⁣ Tonight this candle is for you, lit with prayers that these words from psalms will be a makeshift nightlight of sorts. In daylight and darkness, God will be the same. Ever present, never failing. He’ll sing us through the night.⁣ ⁣ P.s. If you’re here and you’re struggling or worried (etc), I’d love to pray for you by name tonight. Raise your hand in the comments and I’ve got you. 🙏🏻 (If you comment and you’re willing, pause and pray for the name directly above your own? 💛)
Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time. — Oswald Chambers⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ This is the part that gets me—and gets me through when the waiting seems so very very long and there are way more questions than answers: His character is worthy of deliberate confidence.⁣ ⁣ In every unknown and in between, in every change and every waiting room (metaphorical or otherwise), God remains steady and sure, kind and faithful. He doesn’t change like shifting shadows. Instead, God draws close, hiding us beneath the shadow of His wings. And so… we wait. But we wait with hope, watchful and expectant. We trust that times of waiting ≠ wasted time. We believe that the work God does within us while we wait is just as important as whatever it is we’re waiting for. And when we forget—because of course we will—when it all turns upside down and the questions keep piling up and the waves don’t stop and the miracle seems long in coming, we go back to the foundation that doesn’t shift, that holds true and holds us through every storm, every change, every upside down unknown.⁣ ⁣ We have not been forgotten.⁣ We have not been overlooked.⁣ We are not alone.⁣ ⁣ Sometimes the gift given is simply... Him. And that turns out to be—He turns out to be—abundantly more than enough. A miracle, right there in the waiting room.⁣ ⁣ “Christ is my firm foundation⁣ The rock on which I stand⁣ When everything around me is shaken⁣ I've never been more glad⁣ That I put my faith in Jesus⁣ 'Cause He's never let me down⁣ He's faithful through generations⁣ So why would He fail now? He won't⁣ I've still got joy in chaos⁣ I've got peace that makes no sense⁣ I won't be going under⁣ I'm not held by my own strength⁣ 'Cause I've built my life on Jesus⁣ He's never let me down⁣ He's faithful through every season⁣ So why would He fail now? He won't”⁣ 🎵 Maverick City, Firm Foundation
(giveaway) I straight up told God that He picked t (giveaway) I straight up told God that He picked the wrong person. I gave a dozen reasons why it wasn’t the right time to write a book, why I didn’t want to write THIS book. God’s response was kind but clear: to do anything else would be disobedience.⁣ ⁣ On August 19th, I opened a blank page and wrote the first 2,000 words. That Word document became the Introduction of a book that still ships around the world every month. (Me: 😭)⁣ ⁣ If I knew from the get-go what He’d lead me to share—if I knew from the start that I’d still be living the deep heartbreak and hope of “even if not” in 2023—honestly, I might still be looking at a blinking cursor.⁣ ⁣ What I do know: obedience came (comes) at a cost, but it gave (gives) me so much more. Because in leading me to write about disappointment and doubt, in asking me to wrestle with if He’s still good when life really isn’t, God was actually leading me to Himself.⁣ ⁣ All these years later, strangers still stumble across #EvenIfNotBook and send DMs that say "this book changed my life" and "I met Jesus between the pages." I’m still speechless every time because once upon a time, it was just a blank page. You’d think I’d come up with a better reply, but all I have is simply this: Me too. I met Him there too.⁣ ⁣ In the loss and the confusion. In the betrayal and the sickness. In the wilderness, the in betweens, the middles and the unchosen storylines. In every “Are You going to come through?” and “It was never supposed to be this way, God.” Looking back, fingerprints of His faithfulness mark every page.⁣ ⁣ This isn't the story I would have chosen. But I'll forever be grateful it's the one I was given.⁣ Even if not, God. Every day, every year, until You lead all the way home.⁣ ⁣ 📚👉🏻 I'd love to celebrate the beginning of a book about the middle by sending a copy to you or someone you love! Tag a friend below — someone who walked with you through a difficult time or someone currently in an in between who could use a little encouragement. I’ll randomly select a comment on Monday and send a book your way!
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