KaitlynBouchillon.com
  • about
  • blog
  • book
  • contact & all the things
    • contact
    • disclosure
    • #fmfpartysnailmail
    • my health story
    • privacy policy
    • subscribe (and receive exclusive prints!)
    • terms and conditions
  • favorites
    • favorites :: blogs
    • favorites :: books
    • favorites :: ministries
  • freebies
  • why every story matters
  • VA services
Select Page
Good News: One Day, the Sea Will Be No More

Good News: One Day, the Sea Will Be No More

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Aug 3, 2023 | (in)courage, Devotional, Faith, Faithful, Grief

If you prefer audio, this article is also available as a podcast episode. There are mornings (ahem, months) I can barely bring myself to look at the news, at social media, at updates coming in from around the world. Chaos and disaster, suffering and disease, confusion...
Here’s the Promise: Goodness Will Chase You Down

Here’s the Promise: Goodness Will Chase You Down

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Jun 22, 2023 | (in)courage, Beauty, Brave, Devotional, Faith, Grief

If you prefer audio, this article is also available as a podcast episode. Keep a straight face, I thought to myself. Everything was already in place. The date was marked on a dozen calendars. The cards were signed, the gifts wrapped, the decorations purchased and...
For When You’re (Still) Waiting on a Miracle…

For When You’re (Still) Waiting on a Miracle…

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Apr 28, 2023 | Devotional, Easter, Even If Not, Faith, Grief, Story

If you prefer audio, this article is also available as a podcast episode. Easter has passed and I’m still waiting for resurrection. Hoping for, begging for, watching for signs of life. Straining my eyes for beauty in the ashes, listening intently for a whisper in the...
When Hope Feels a Little Foolish

When Hope Feels a Little Foolish

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Apr 24, 2023 | Brave, Faith, Fear, Grief, Guest, Joy

No pun intended, but it’s a delight to welcome Nicole Zasowski, author of What If It’s Wonderful?, to share here today. I underlined so. much. of her book and think it’ll be an encouragement to you, too, if hope or joy feel a little risky. What If It’s Wonderful?...
The Storm Is Never The End of the Story

The Storm Is Never The End of the Story

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Mar 13, 2023 | Broken and Raw, Devotional, Easter, Faith, Grief, Story

A couple walks arm in arm, runners sprint past, and grown men whiz by on bikes. A little boy cries crocodile tears as he tries to maneuver the trike with training wheels. The trail is full today, but so are the ditches on either side. A week of gray skies and pounding...
“I’ll Hold It With You”

“I’ll Hold It With You”

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Jan 23, 2023 | Devotional, Even If Not, Faith, Fear, friendship, Grief

I was about to walk into a birthday party when my phone buzzed. After several months of waiting for appointments and tests, the results were finally here and the diagnosis was clear: cancer. Again. Actually, again again. Cancer keeps weaving its way back into our...
« Older Entries

RECENT POSTS:

  • Good News: One Day, the Sea Will Be No More
  • Here’s the Promise: Goodness Will Chase You Down
  • 14 New Books You Don’t Want to Miss This Summer
  • For When You’re (Still) Waiting on a Miracle…
  • When Hope Feels a Little Foolish

MY BOOK // Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between

Even If Not: Living, Loving and Learning in the in Between

kaitlyn_bouch
You know that almost eerie feeling when something You know that almost eerie feeling when something starts showing up seemingly EVERYWHERE, almost out of no where? No matter where you look, there it is?⁣ ⁣ After what felt like an in-my-face visual of Isaiah 41 (written out below), I started paying particular attention to verses that talk about how we’re secure in God’s hands. It didn’t take long before the list began to grow, each one reiterating the promise.⁣ ⁣ In John 10, Jesus says that no one can snatch us from the Father’s hand. In a moment of reflection, the writer of Psalm 73 says, “My feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold… Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.” In Psalm 139, we’re assured that even in the deepest dark, God holds on.⁣ ⁣ Over and over Scripture echos itself, doubling down on the promise: we are held secure. God will not let us go and never, not for a single moment, will we find ourselves walking alone.⁣ ⁣ Emmanuel, the God who named Himself “God With Us”, created the entire universe and then, in great humility, made Himself small enough to be held in human hands. The One who formed man from the dust of the ground became the God-man who bent down to write in the dirt, who broke bread and then broke open, arms spread wide and hands pierced even as they reached out. And even then, all the while, He was holding each and every one of us secure, perfectly keeping every promise that was made.⁣ ⁣ We might be lonely sometimes, yes. Our steps may be (will be) shaky. But the promise will hold, and we will be held.⁣ ⁣ His gaze is steady. His grip is secure. He’ll bring us all the way Home.⁣ ⁣ “Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.” Isaiah 41:10
There’s a verse in Jude that shocked me the firs There’s a verse in Jude that shocked me the first time I read it in The Message. It’s so blunt, yet so kind. It’s honest and careful to hold the tension, speaking hope in the valley of the shadow. All may not be alright right now… it may seem like everything has fallen apart, splintered into shards so small that you’ll be stepping on glass that traveled far and wide for years to come… it might feel like seasons are competing against one another, the old and the new and the what-even-is-this, this middle ground of unknowns and waiting, this land of longings and questions asking how can this be and how much longer until all all all is made new…⁣ ⁣ And Jude says:⁣ “Relax, everything’s going to be alright;⁣ rest, everything’s coming together;⁣ open your hearts, Love is on the way.”⁣ ⁣ And I want to say Jude, are you sure? Like, super sure? Because the rest of your letter is more “keep watch” than relax, more “persevere” than rest. But then there’s that tiny note at the top—Jude, who grew up the brother of Jesus, calls himself the servant of Jesus Christ the Son of God.⁣ ⁣ What would it be like to grow up as siblings, only to later realize you shared a table with the Messiah, did the dishes with God, tackled the Most High in the dirt? Talk about “how can this be?...” But Jude, he was fully convinced. So I re-read through the lens of sibling and servant and see:⁣ ⁣ His letter doesn’t bypass the struggles of the day, doesn’t dismiss the confusion and pain, but he begins with Good News for the weary, the restless, the exhausted. He starts here, as if to say ‘you may be in the valley and it may not be anywhere near alright today, but I know someone, really really know someone, and He changes everything.’ It’s the Gospel in a verse, written by a guy who woke up next to the One who tells the sun to rise. ⁣ ⁣ And so today, on this Monday morning thousands of years later, here in the land of A Lot and the land of the living… may we find comfort in the One who walks with us through the deepest of depths, the darkest of nights, and the most barren of winters. The One who turns every story good and makes all things right in the end. The One who, even now, is on the way. ♥️
Just a note to say it would be very much okay if y Just a note to say it would be very much okay if you said “there is so much that’s good, but there’s also a whole lot that’s difficult, and I need a minute to catch my breath in the middle of it all.” It would be more than alright to purposely go slow, intentionally grow slow, step away and rest a while.⁣ ⁣ There’s grace for that. There’s grace for you, for all that you’re holding, for everything that keeps you up at night and weighs on you during the day. As the calendar pages turn, as the leaves fall, as the holiday countdown continues and the seasons shift, may we hold tightly to the One who doesn’t change, who walks with us through⁣—⁣ ⁣ the hope of spring,⁣ and the worry of what’s to come⁣ ⁣ the joy of summer,⁣ and the overwhelm of wave after wave⁣ ⁣ the beauty of fall,⁣ and the heartbreak of loss⁣ ⁣ the quiet of winter,⁣ and the long wait for new life⁣ ⁣ Emmanuel, God with us in every season.⁣ The Promise Maker is a Promise Keeper,⁣ and He isn’t going anywhere.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Grace, grace, grace.⁣ ⁣ “The seasons change and you change, but the Lord abides evermore the same, and the streams of His love are as deep, as broad and as full as ever.”⁣ - Charles Spurgeon⁣ ⁣ 🫶🏻 p.s. If you’re subscribed to All The Things, a more personal note from me + a “grace is not seasonal” print & lock screen will arrive via email today. Thank you (so very much) for inviting me into your inbox.
God? The world grieves, the earth groans, the wate God? The world grieves, the earth groans, the waters roar, the tears fall, and the hospital beds fill or lay piled in pieces, mountains created by war. We are broken and needy, worn and so very weary. Desperate. As You were with Moses in the wilderness and Joshua in the Promised Land, lead us through the coming days. Cloud by day, make a way in the wild of unknowns; fire by night, light up the sky as darkness closes in.⁣ ⁣ You wrapped Yourself in skin because of love, choosing to dwell among us in this broken, hurting world. Jesus, You wept over the death of a friend even though You knew the story wasn’t over. You’ve known excruciating loss; You’re familiar with deep grief. You understand our hurting hearts, so we bring them to You, begging for strength for today and hope for tomorrow.⁣ ⁣ Spirit, thank You for the ever-present gift of Your presence. Would you comfort those who are grieving (seems like, well, all of us) and grant wisdom to all who need it (yeah… still all of us). Teach us to linger longer in Your presence, shaping our worries into prayers. Help us remember not to forget that You are the God who comes and stays, the One who keeps every promise He makes.⁣ ⁣ God of new beginnings, sustain us in the waiting.⁣ ⁣ We don’t know what the future will hold, but we know that You’ll be there. Today, that’s enough. You, Lord, are enough.⁣ ⁣ Amen
The year of pulling knives out or the year of danc The year of pulling knives out or the year of dancing in the rain? The year of shock or the year of bravery? The year of the impossible come true or the year of learning to trust “all things will be made new”?⁣ ⁣ There’s more.⁣ ⁣ The year of anger or the year of fighting to stay tender? The year of the attempted break-in or the year of God’s with-ness? The year of silence or the year of daring to laugh? ⁣ ⁣ Still, more.⁣ ⁣ The year of becoming the persistent (v likely annoying) woman who wouldn’t stop knocking or the year of walking through new doors? The year of the fire or the year of hope like an ember? The year of ashes or the year of better seeing the moon?⁣ ⁣ “Barn’s burnt down—⁣ now, I can see the moon.”⁣ - Mizuta Masahide⁣ ⁣ I could give year 30 a dozen names, ’categorize’ it 100 ways. I’m writing this at 11:53pm on the eve of my birthday, certain this year tops the list as the hardest & most heartbreaking I’ve known—while knowing that I may look back one day and genuinely say “thank God!” about every bit of it.⁣ ⁣ It’s 11:56 and I’m re-reading what I wrote last year, before It All. Does it hold up? Do I still believe it, given Everything?⁣ —⁣ 11/16/22: The unfiltered truth is that this isn’t what I thought my right-now life would look like. It isn’t what I pictured and there are dreams that have died. And also: I’m fully convinced that the One who gave those dreams is the Author of my story, and He can be trusted.⁣ This is Plan A. There’s nothing accidentally missing, and while there are things I wish I had that I don’t, I actually have so much more than I deserve.⁣ I don’t have a “30 things I learned before I turned 30” list, but I’ll tell you 5 things I know for sure:⁣ ⁣ ♥️ Choosing to hope can be costly. Hope anyway.⁣ ♥️ The work God does within us while we wait is just as important as whatever it is we’re waiting for.⁣ ♥️ Community is worth fighting for. Again and again and yes, again.⁣ ♥️ God’s with-ness will not waver and His faithfulness will never fail.⁣ ♥️ The Author is kind and good. Always, in all ways.⁣ —⁣ It does. I do. So maybe that’s the true name of year 30: He held me and He held true.⁣ ⁣ 12:01am. 31.⁣ ⁣ The moon is beautiful.
“What do you know about God that you might not h “What do you know about God that you might not have known, had this prayer already been answered?” A friend asked me this question and I could answer many ways, but today it would simply be: I know that God never leaves and that He always proves to be more than enough.⁣ ⁣ This morning I read the story of the Israelites walking around the city walls of Jericho. We hurry to Day 7 so quickly in the retelling, but what about Days 1-6 when NOTHING seemed to change? I would have felt so dumb by Day 3, so incredibly disheartened and confused on Day 5. It’s not like rocks fell a few at a time with every lap, you know? Then Day 7 arrived and the walls gave way. It’s incredible! But I kind of think days 1-6 are incredible, too… Because it’s there, in the place where things don’t make sense and they’re walking the same circles day after day—there, that a miracle begins to take place.⁣ ⁣ If God changed them each day, their hearts softening as they relied on Him and His timing and His with-ness… then there was a miracle along the way, smack in the middle of the Already But Not Yet.⁣ ⁣ This is the hard but beautiful truth: The “other side” of The Thing you’re hoping for, praying for, daily asking God for… It might not end up looking like what you hoped/prayed/asked. It might be that what changes is… you. It might be that instead of walls falling, by God’s grace and with His strength, at the end of it all you’re still standing.⁣ ⁣ That’s still a miracle. That’s still an answered prayer.⁣ ⁣ If God told you to stick with and hold on, to wait well and have hope and keep believing? Do that. Walk one more lap. Don’t give up on what might turn out to be Day 6. But also, from one girl walking laps to another, let’s not forget: We’ll see a miracle either way. We’re already in the middle of it.⁣ ⁣ He walks with. He never leaves. And He’s always, every time, more than enough.⁣ ⁣ #evenifnotbook #preachingtomyownheart
Leave it to the Message paraphrase to have me all Leave it to the Message paraphrase to have me all 😭 “Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I’m your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.” (Isaiah 41:10)⁣ ⁣ John 10. Psalm 73. Psalm 139. It goes on and on. Really though, I’m talking over and over, Scripture echos itself and just doubles down on the promise: We’re held secure. God will not let us go and never, not for a single moment, will we find ourselves walking alone.⁣ ⁣ We may not be able to see more than one foot ahead. We might feel like our feet are slipping, might worry about what’s around the bend, might be weary from slowly shuffling along for so long.⁣ ⁣ But as we step into an unknown future… As we walk toward change, walk through what we never saw coming, walk among the ashes of what was or even, perhaps, what will never be… We can rest assured that one thing is absolutely certain: we do not walk alone.⁣ ⁣ In my imagination, just beyond the hands wrapped around, there’s a gentle smile, a little wink, and a kind voice that says “I had you then and I hold you now. Come what may, I’ve got you.”⁣ ⁣ His gaze is steady; His grip secure.⁣ ⁣ Step by shaky step, held all the way Home.⁣ ⁣ Never, not for one moment, will we find ourselves walking alone.
This year has been a tsunami, to put it mildly. If This year has been a tsunami, to put it mildly. If it weren’t so heartbreaking it would be laughable, the number of times I’ve said “The hits just keep on coming. Every time I think I see a break in the waves, the storm picks up.” Maybe you can relate?⁣ ⁣ A few months ago, I stood on a porch watching a bird in a storm while tears streamed down. (What a weird sentence.) One minute the sun was shining, the waves were lapping, the wind was a gentle breeze. The next, we scrambled to gather chairs and strained to keep the tent from flying. The summer storm arrived out of the clear blue. Rain fell in sheets and I literally inched forward, walking straight into a wall of wind.⁣ ⁣ It was hilarious, one of those ‘this is a memory in the making’ moments, until I saw the small speck riding out the waves. As if we switched places, I watched the bird from above and I told the One who walks on water “that’s me right there and I’m exhausted.”⁣ ⁣ I’m uninterested in pretty words that are empty promises, and if you’ve been in a similar place this year, I imagine the same is true for you. But if you’ll let me, I’m coming up for air to share the anchor that has held. It’s all I’ve got; it’s been (more than) enough.⁣ ⁣ One day, every storm will be permanently silenced. One day, chaos will be calmed for good. But for today: We don’t have to hold it together. There is One who is holding us, and He’s familiar with waves. Sometimes Jesus says “Peace, be still” to the waters that rise and sometimes, instead, He says those words to our overwhelmed hearts. But He never shows up with a tidy “just choose joy!” bow, never dismisses our sadness or grows weary of how long we’ve struggled to stay afloat. No, Hope just gets in the boat.⁣ ⁣ The waves might keep on coming.⁣ The storm may keep on raging.⁣ But the sun will keep on rising.⁣ And so—⁣ We may not know when.⁣ We may not see how.⁣ But we can trust Who.⁣ ⁣ God sees the other side, and He will see us through.
It’s not the answer I’m asking for, but it is It’s not the answer I’m asking for, but it is the promise I need. One day “how much longer?” will be no longer. But for today, we hope. We pray “on earth as it is in heaven.” We remember that God will not be rushed, but neither will He be late. We wait and we trust and we find that it’s true: God really is going to carry us through. 💛
load more follow on insta

MY FAVORITE WRITING COMMUNITY

Copyright 2020 | Designed by Elegant Themes