KaitlynBouchillon.com
  • about
  • blog
  • book
  • contact & all the things
    • contact
    • disclosure
    • #fmfpartysnailmail
    • my health story
    • privacy policy
    • subscribe (and receive exclusive prints!)
    • terms and conditions
  • favorites
    • favorites :: blogs
    • favorites :: books
    • favorites :: ministries
  • freebies
  • why every story matters
  • VA services
Select Page
There’s Power In Your Story {31 Days :: Day 25}

There’s Power In Your Story {31 Days :: Day 25}

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Oct 25, 2014 | (in)courage, every story matters, God Sized Dream, Story

You could call it my “big break” but I’d choose to call it a time God broke me. And I’m so thankful He did. I was stretched thin and lifted up, encouraged and humbled. I was a wee bit nervous and a whole lot excited. My words — really,...
The Story Dare {31 Days :: Day 24}

The Story Dare {31 Days :: Day 24}

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Oct 24, 2014 | every story matters, Fear, Five Minute Friday, Story

Every Friday the prompt goes up and #fmfparty slows down. We breathe out our hearts, sharing the hurts and the joys and splitting hearts and words wide open. Come join us? During the month of October, I’ll be doing my darn best to fit the FMF prompt (today’s is...
Five Free Printables {31 Days :: Day 23}

Five Free Printables {31 Days :: Day 23}

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Oct 23, 2014 | every story matters, Freebies, Printables, Story

I’m a real big fan of printables. They are things of beauty, lovely and bright, and they can hold so much meaning. I’m an even bigger fan of free printables (which is why I’ve got a whole page full of them for you – right over here). Below are...
Love Personified {31 Days :: Day 22}

Love Personified {31 Days :: Day 22}

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Oct 22, 2014 | every story matters, Faith, Love, More To Be, Story

I saw the words go by as I scrolled through Pinterest. It was any other regular afternoon but, as I am apt to do, I thought I’d kill a few minutes looking at crafts, yummy foods, and quotes. I have a thing for words and I’ve fallen in love with the power...
Conviction and Desire {31 Days :: Day 21}

Conviction and Desire {31 Days :: Day 21}

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Oct 21, 2014 | every story matters, Faith, Guest, Story

So there’s this friend of mine. I’ve written about her a time or two, most recently here. When you find a friend who pushes you, encourages you, leads humbly and effectively, and always points back to Jesus? You’ve won. Big time. It’s such a...
How To Tell Your Story {31 Days :: Day 20}

How To Tell Your Story {31 Days :: Day 20}

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Oct 20, 2014 | Brave, Community, every story matters, Love, Story

If we go through the world with our ear to the ground, with our ear pressed up against people’s words, listening for heartbeats, listening for the heartbeat of stories, it could happen —  Stories are keys that release you out of yourself and into the wide freedom of...
« Older Entries
Next Entries »

RECENT POSTS:

  • Go Ahead and Light the Candles
  • 12 Can’t-Miss Books Coming January-April of 2021
  • Chaos Doesn’t Get the Final Say
  • My Favorite Books of 2020
  • Advent Books and Bible Studies

MY BOOK // Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between

Even If Not: Living, Loving and Learning in the in Between

kaitlyn_bouch

📚Author of #EvenIfNotBook
✏️Writer: kaitlynbouchillon.com
☕️Lover of iced coffee
💻Virtual Assistant

I woke up worn out, weary, and exhausted before th I woke up worn out, weary, and exhausted before the day really began. Quietly climbing back in bed for five minutes of rest, I prayed these words:⁣
⁣
"God, I'm tired. So tired. Even the little things feel like big things after this past year. But I know nothing slips through Your hands. Nothing takes You by surprise, nothing is too much, and You don't even get tired. Which is pretty incredible, by the way. So can You please just carry it all, today? I know… You will whether I ask or not. You'll be enough regardless. But my hands are open. You do the carrying."⁣
⁣
A few hours later, I saw an image I saved to my computer way back when. An image with these words. And so I created a lock screen for myself, a daily (hourly) much-needed reminder of Truth.⁣
⁣
Message received God, and also, thank You.⁣
⁣
♥️ The lock screen is in my Instagram Stories and I’ll save it to the “lock screens” highlight on my profile.
Giveaway! ✨ 5 years ago today, the message I (st Giveaway! ✨ 5 years ago today, the message I (still) so dearly love, fully believe in, & also sometimes can’t stand (see below) released into the world. 📚 Here’s the thing: even when you’ve already lived out what you’re writing, you’ll continue to have opportunities (ahem, invitations) to practice what you preach for years & years to come.⁣
⁣
(Dear God, I’d like to write about great vacations next. Amen)⁣⁣⁣
⁣
Had I known He’d lead me to write about singleness, revisit heartbreaks, share church wounds, or put words around disappointment & dreams seemingly unfulfilled.⁣.. I’m not sure I would have started. But that’s where He led me & on every single page, I found Him there. Present & faithful & kind & GOOD.⁣
⁣
Honestly, I could write “Even If Not — Again” because 5 years later, I’m still learning & wrestling through saying “I know You could come through how I’m asking, but I’ll love & trust You even if You don’t.⁣⁣ No matter what, I’ll choose to believe You’re good.” In many ways I’m still in the “&” (the ampersand, the middle). But I know it. I really do believe it. And so I’ll say it as many years as I can: He is good on every single page.⁣⁣⁣
⁣
Readers have described #EvenIfNotBook as a life-changing read & although that's crazy (& crazy humbling) to me, I have to agree because it changed my life first. 😭⁣
⁣
To celebrate the “book birthday” I’m giving away FIVE COPIES here & on Facebook! 🎉 Because Amazon "rewards" books with enough sales/reviews in a short period of time (it'll land on screens of people I can't reach on my own)... To enter:⁣
⁣
💛Bookmark this post
💛OR buy a copy for yourself/a friend (paperback or digital) and DM me a screenshot⁣
💛OR leave a review anywhere (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, BAM, ChristianBook, Goodreads) and DM me a screenshot⁣
⁣
Thank you five million times over for your support of this book, friends. It means the world. // Giveaway ends at 11am on 2/25 & is paid for by me myself and I. 😉
Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time. — Oswald Chambers⁣
⁣
This is the part that gets me—and gets me through when there are more question than answers, when the waiting seems long—His character is worthy of deliberate confidence.⁣
⁣
In every single unknown and in between, He is faithful and unchanging. And so we wait... but we wait with hope, watchful and expectant, trusting that times of waiting do not equal wasted time.⁣
⁣
We have not been forgotten. We have not been overlooked. We are not alone. We are not behind.⁣
⁣
Sometimes the gift given is simply... Him.⁣
⁣
And it turns out to be—He turns out to be—abundantly more.⁣
⁣
“You are working in our waiting⁣
You're sanctifying us⁣
When beyond our understanding⁣
You're teaching us to trust⁣
Your plans are still to prosper⁣
You have not forgotten us⁣
You're with us in the fire and the flood⁣
You're faithful forever⁣
Perfect in love⁣
You are sovereign over us”⁣
— Aaron Keyes, Sovereign Over Us
A grocery clerk made fun of me for "having to buy A grocery clerk made fun of me for "having to buy my own Valentine's Day flowers.” (Never mind that Valentine's Day was four days earlier and also you just don't say that to a person.)⁣
⁣
And I’d just like to publicly thank him, this man whose name I don’t know and whose words I can’t forget.⁣
⁣
It’s been three years and I still remember what he said and how I felt in that moment. But I have a new tradition because of it, my favorite made-up holiday: February 18th is Buy The Flowers day.⁣
⁣
So I did. I drove to the store yesterday and picked a bunch of purpleish-pink tulips. I smiled and I cried and I smiled as I cried. Because three years later, that part of my life looks mostly the same. Another year has passed and although my right-now-life is full of good things, it isn’t what I imagined or dreamed for myself.⁣
⁣
This is not what I wanted... but He has been abundantly more. And listen, that isn’t some cliché. It’s the honest truth, the hard fought and wrestled out truth, the tension and the reality of my every day.⁣
⁣
The calendar pages have turned, but He has not turned away.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Here’s what I know: We can be sad and grateful at the same time. We can smile even with tears in our eyes. We can say “this isn’t what I would have written” while trusting that He doesn’t make mistakes and He sees the entire storyline.⁣ We can truly appreciate all that is while believing and hoping and praying for the dreams He’s placed within us to come to be. We can go ahead and buy the flowers, literal or metaphorical.⁣
⁣
There are broken hearts and beautiful things, hellos and goodbyes, sunrises and sunsets and sunshowers. There is grief and there is joy, sometimes at the very same time, but He does not waste our hurt or our hope.⁣
⁣
Don’t pause your life for Some Day. There is good right here, right now. Today is worth celebrating. #buytheflowers #beautifulordinarynow⁣ #evenifnotbook
May we have the courage to ask hard questions and May we have the courage to ask hard questions and the grace to listen well. May we look for the light even when the night is long, hold onto hope, and follow His lead even if we walk alone.⁣
⁣
May we set a longer table, choose to fight for instead of with one another, trust that He is always at work for our good and His glory, and dare to say “even if not” when we don’t understand. May we see redemption in our beautiful and ordinary right here, right now days.⁣
—⁣
I scrolled back last night, looking for a specific post, and stumbled on this caption. I wrote it as a blessing over you and me for the coming year. It starts off with “Here’s to 2020” and then follows what what you just read above.⁣
⁣
It feels a little too on the nose, kind of like how my friend’s word of the year for 2020 was “shelter.” I can’t help but shake my head and mumble “little did we know...” We sheltered in place and asked hard questions and fought. The night has been long and hope has been a slippery thing. We have walked alone, sometimes. And it didn’t end with the flip of a calendar page. ⁣
⁣
My small group was studying Psalm 91 back in March when we began sheltering separately in our apartments. Verse 3 describes God as a refuge in the midst of a sudden, deadly disease. It’s verse 4 that I’m sitting with right now, though.⁣
⁣
Because yes, He was (and is) a shelter. But it isn’t saying we won’t face difficult times or that we’ll be spared the deadly disease… it’s that we won’t face it alone, that we’ll have a safe place *in the storm.*⁣
⁣
“He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” - Psalm 91:4⁣
⁣
Covered by... promises. Sheltered by promises that protect.⁣
⁣
@JenniferDukesLee likes to say "God's got it." Psalm 91 seems to say "I've got you." No matter what comes, no matter how dark the night, I’ve got you.⁣
⁣
You aren't alone.
Hello, yes, I am the girl who will pray for snow ( Hello, yes, I am the girl who will pray for snow (“Even flurries, God.”) when it says there’s a 0% chance my part of town will see it.⁣
⁣
I am the girl who slept in snowflake pajamas and teared up and then bundled up when she woke up to a world dusted in white.⁣
⁣
I am the girl who stretched her arms wide and spun around with joy for no one to see but the God who answered a prayer.⁣
⁣
I am the girl who works from home and doesn’t get a snow day, but is sure as heck back in those snowflake pajamas, drinking iced coffee (of course) while working from her bed below the window, blinds open to the flurries falling.⁣
⁣
My name is Kaitlyn and one day my Floridian self is going to see several feet of snow and lose her actual mind. But for today, this literal half an inch is somehow abundantly more.⁣
⁣
0% chance?⁣
⁣
The flurries are still falling. ❄️🤍😍

(Also LOL to always having a mask in your pocket. Thanks, 2020...?)
One of my absolute favorite things on Instagram is One of my absolute favorite things on Instagram is a hashtag created by @shannanwrites. Every month (for years now!) she stands in the same place on the same day and takes a picture. It’s her #Shannans8thSpotAlley and yes it’s wildly ordinary, but it’s also ridiculously beautiful.⁣
⁣
Day by day, there doesn’t appear to be very much happening. Sometimes it’s hard to see incremental growth. But over time there’s no denying that something is shifting.⁣
⁣
Want to time travel with me?⁣
⁣
The first picture was taken on January 27, 2020 at a nearby trail that winds its way around a lake. At the time, it was just a nice view. Two months later, daily walks on this path became a saving grace. And I’d stop right here, my place to remember⁣
⁣
Swipe and you’ll see the view from April 16th. While we sheltered in place, nature did its thing. New life came, just as it always does.⁣
⁣
Swipe again and you’ll see October 19th. I stood there every day waiting and waiting for it to change. Summer barely seemed to differ from Spring, Fall was more of the same, and honestly it felt too close to home—too much like 2020. There’s the hint of a promise up in the top right, though. Right before Thanksgiving, the tips of the leaves began to turn.⁣
⁣
And then, swipe again, a storm blew through. In the aftermath, empty space. White winter skies, bare branches, still waters. December 13th.⁣
⁣
The last picture you see? I took it this week. It’s been over a year since the first one, which means almost one full year of snapping pictures during a pandemic for the “trees” folder on my phone, and I’m not trying to make a big lesson out of changing leaves or waters that reflect what’s happening above.⁣
⁣
I’m just wildly grateful for a God who is the same in every changing season, that walks with me through each one. #beautifulordinarynow
We’re holding so many things, pouring from nearl We’re holding so many things, pouring from nearly empty cups, doing our best in a world we don’t quite recognize. So much is up in the air, and the things here on the ground are heavy.⁣
⁣
And I just keep coming back to this picture (listen, I miss traveling). I keep staring at a pixelated window on my camera roll, wondering what it’ll be like when the plane lands. Will we still smile with our eyes? Will we anxiously fill the aisles in an effort to get back to “normal”?⁣
⁣
I don’t know. But I do remember that when I took this picture, when far-off clouds were the neighbors outside my window, worry took a backseat. Everything on the ground was still the same size, still the same weight… It’s just that my view shifted. Wonder might as well have been my oxygen.⁣
⁣
A change in perspective can turn mountains into mustard seeds.⁣
⁣
The upside-down truth reminds me of the Kingdom. Because if I believe what I say I believe, then this is only a glimpse of a glimpse of His view.⁣
⁣
He sees it all—every ECMO machine beside every hospital bed, every sandwich made, every blade of grass, every fractured relationship, every mask hanging from the rearview, every tear-stained pillowcase, every dream lost, every hope realized, every bill on the counter, every candle flickering, every desperate prayer from the waiting room, every seed planted with hope.⁣
⁣
Things are upside-down, but the Kingdom is not shaken. It’s here and it’s on its way. He sees the bigger, wider, fuller picture and He joins us, Emmanuel here with us, God on the ground.⁣
⁣
Sometimes I wish I could see the bigger picture. Today, on this new-normal regular Wednesday, it’s enough to know that He does.
The day you plant the seed is not the day the flow The day you plant the seed is not the day the flower blooms. 🌱⁣
⁣
“I will trust You in the famine⁣
I will bless You in the feast⁣
When I’m standing in Your victory⁣
When I’m on my knees⁣
I will praise You with the rising⁣
And the setting sun⁣
You’re gonna catch me singing⁣
When the spring time comes.⁣
⁣
You've been God for a long time⁣
You're the final word, You're the finish line⁣
Everything's gonna be alright⁣
Cause You've been God for a long time⁣
⁣
What You have grown into a garden⁣
You planted in the dark⁣
You always finish what You start”⁣
- @seancurran, Catch Me Singing 🎵
load more follow on insta

MY FAVORITE WRITING COMMUNITY

Copyright 2020 | Designed by Elegant Themes