I’m a runner. Not the athletic kind, because no. I’ve tried that and have decided you are either born a runner or you are not.
I am not.
I am, however, a professional when it comes to running emotionally.
Over time, I’ve realized that community will hurt me and it will heal me but in order for that to happen…
I have to choose to stay.
Last week I shared my heart at the BraveGirl Community and I would love to extend a welcome to you over there. I’ve joined as a contributor and can tell you one thing: you have been invited to stay.
I hate running.
And no, not in that “I mean, I guess it’s okay if I really have to…” way. Nope. I just flat out hate it.
As a young child I heard, “Kaitlyn, you don’t run correctly.” What? What does that even mean?
I’ve tried running heel-to-toes and toes-to-heel and trust me, I look absolutely ridiculous no matter which way I try.
Recently, a friend was about to make a big announcement and I was half-way across my college campus. Time had slipped away from me and, without a car, the only way to make it in time was to run.
Another friend joined me and we sprinted along the roads, huffing and puffing and laughing. The laughter came from her mouth – not mine. In between breaths I looked to my left and asked her what could possible be so funny.
“You’re running! I’ve never seen you run! And you’re actually decent at it!”
Thank you, I guess? It really was laughable, though. On the rare occasions that I run, I look more like a meme than an athlete and let’s be honest, if I’m going to run anywhere it’ll be straight to Starbucks.
Emotionally, though, I’m a pro at running. I can high-tail it out of a sticky situation and I’ll backtrack my way through the mess until I find a clearing. I’ve run straight off the trail so many times that I’ve lost my sense of direction and spent many dark nights alone.
It doesn’t take too much to make me run from community.
Community is what I want but it scares me more than anything else. When you’ve been left by community so many times you have to use two hands to count them all, it’s easier to be the one doing the leaving.
Want to know more about the Brave Girl Community? Here is our purpose:
We are several women (and a few men) from different backgrounds and seasons of life contributing to one community website that has a central purpose – sharing our bravery, boldness and passion for pursuing and experiencing God’s Grace and love by telling our unique stories. Although, like anything in life we are not sure what the journey will look like, we are sure of one thing – the God who has called us.
You can find us at the blog, on Twitter, and on Facebook. I hope to see you over there!