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When Worry and Fear Weigh You Down

When Worry and Fear Weigh You Down

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | May 18, 2020 | (in)courage, Brave, Devotional, Easter, Faith, Fear, Prayer

Well friends, the timing of this post is really something. I shared the news this morning and I’ll say more about this in my newsletter (going out in a few days), but my grandfather passed away last week. A few minutes after turning in my May (in)courage post...
You Have Not Been Forgotten or Overlooked

You Have Not Been Forgotten or Overlooked

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Feb 18, 2020 | (in)courage, Brave, Broken and Raw, Faith, Love

I’ll admit, the month of February brings with it a sense of dread. I don’t mind the flowers, chocolates, or the emphasis on love. No, as a single woman, it’s the looks of pity, as questions and doubts that have played in my head are suddenly spoken aloud by loved ones...
I Dare You: Buy the Flowers

I Dare You: Buy the Flowers

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Feb 6, 2019 | (in)courage, Brave, Broken and Raw, Faith, Love

Last year, just a few days after Valentine’s Day, the grocery store clerk made fun of me in the checkout line. I emptied my cart, placed each item on the conveyor belt, and tried to keep my mouth from falling open as the gentlemen looked me in the eyes and spoke words...
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Aug 11, 2018 | (in)courage, Brave, Broken and Raw, Community

No one stood up when the credits began to roll. Whispered wows mixed with the sound of sniffling as we reached for tissues, blinked our eyes, and stayed for just a moment longer. Like so many others, I grew up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. Childhood...
It’s True: You Have Something to Offer

It’s True: You Have Something to Offer

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Jul 9, 2018 | (in)courage, Art, Brave, Fear

You are talented. Before you shake your head, deny those words, and click the little red X on this page, let me ask you a question. Do you remember the parable of the three servants who were given different amounts of talents? I’ve been thinking about it recently,...
A Letter to the Girl Who Feels Forgotten

A Letter to the Girl Who Feels Forgotten

by Kaitlyn Bouchillon | Feb 14, 2018 | Brave, Broken and Raw, Love

Of all the things I truly dislike writing about, singleness tops the list. But this isn’t about being single, not really. This is about how even when we feel forgotten, we’re anything but. This is about how we’ve been given every good thing we could...
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MY BOOK // Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between

Even If Not: Living, Loving and Learning in the in Between

kaitlyn_bouch

📚Author of #EvenIfNotBook
✏️Writer: kaitlynbouchillon.com
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What if the last time God spoke, it was 1620? It t What if the last time God spoke, it was 1620? It takes half a second to flip from Malachi to Matthew, but 400 years pass in-between.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ What does 400 years sound like? Quiet. Confusion. Doubt. Has He forgotten us? Maybe we misunderstood. Maybe... we were wrong?⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ It’s the first day of Advent and I’ve come back to the words I wrote last year. It turns out I need them so much more now, here, in 2020. A year of waiting, of confusion, of grief and sometimes, it seems, silence... it's so much. But it's one year, not 400, and so tonight I'm thinking about the generations that continued to tell the story, the ones who kept on repeating the words while listening for the next line.⁣⁣ ⁣ Sunrise, sunset, repeat.⁣⁣ Day after day, generation after generation.⁣⁣ Waiting. Remembering. Believing.⁣⁣ ⁣ And then the page turned.⁣ God didn’t just break the silence with a word… The Word became flesh and moved right into the neighborhood.⁣ The promise-maker in Malachi is the promise-keeper in Matthew.⁣⁣ ⁣ Funny how they waited for a word to break the silence, and now we mark 400 years of silence with 4 weeks of hushing. Waiting, remembering, believing: Christ has come and will come again.⁣ ⁣ We get to tell the story in this in-between, on this page, in the already-not-yet.⁣ May we be a people who wait well, who cling to hope when the night is long, who remember and believe even in the silence that darkness doesn’t get the final word.⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ Everything sad will come untrue for Light has come, Love has won, and all is being made new.⁣ A thrill of Hope, the weary world rejoices. Amen.
Masks don’t cover the grief of red-rimmed eyes o Masks don’t cover the grief of red-rimmed eyes or the concern of furrowed brows. Losses continue to pile up as the days stretch on and our yoga pants stretch out. Our circles are smaller. Our arms and calendars are emptier.⁣ ⁣ I keep coming back to these two words for 2020: grief and grace. They’re mixed together, smeared like peanut butter and jelly, and so we learn to make bread in a pandemic.⁣ ⁣ Today is the last day of the 34th week of Ordinary Time in a year that has been extra ordinary and also extraordinarily tragic, somehow at the same time. Advent begins tomorrow and I wondered if you’d join me in “turning the calendar page” by naming ordinary magic from these weeks of Ordinary Time—not to ignore the grief and the loss, but to remember the gifts of grace that showed up along the way.⁣ ⁣ Morning light. Leaves falling from the trees. Soup in the crockpot. Laughter. Clouds. Dancing shadows. The crunch of gravel. The flicker of a candle. A familiar voice on the other end of the phone. Pajamas. Cozy blankets. The first page of a new book.⁣ ⁣ Where have you seen ordinary magic recently? 👇🏻⁣ ⁣ #OrdinaryMagic lettering: @alimakesthings // #kaitlynsees2020 #beautifulordinarynow #miracleseverywhere
Your worth isn’t dependent on your work. It isn’t tied to your progress or accomplishments, your checked-off To Do list, your bank account or the number of likes on your last Instagram post.⁣ ⁣ The things you do matter. Your work matters. But if it all disappeared in an instant, if you lost your job, if your body refused to work like you longed for it to, if you suddenly couldn’t do what you’re doing today…⁣ ⁣ Your worth would not change.⁣ ⁣ You would not be a disappointment. You would not be called Less Than or labeled Not Good Enough.⁣ ⁣ You would be named: beloved.⁣ ⁣ Whatever is yours to do today, do it well. But rest in this: the One who made you and named you declared you to be worth it all before you had done anything at all.
A question and an invitation… One minute on soci A question and an invitation… One minute on social media is enough to remind you: there are plenty of very real reasons to be sad, disappointed, scared, confused, and overwhelmed right here and right now, in a year described as a dumpster fire.⁣ ⁣ It’s all A LOT. But my word for the year is “see” (I know. It’s been a whole thing.) and I just keep thinking… What we look for and call out now might very well matter down the road. I don’t want to look back on 2020 and only remember being sad, disappointed, etc.⁣ ⁣ A few weeks ago, I saw this tree just off a nearby trail. I love when the leaves begin to glow red and orange, so an abundance of green in November is far from my favorite. Yet it’s that very same green that made the fire red leaves stand out.⁣ ⁣ It’s easy to see the bad, but if we believe that God is good and God is with us, then goodness MUST be here too. In 2020. Right here. Right now.⁣ ⁣ Where do you see GOOD today?⁣ ⁣ That’s what I’m asking myself each day now… and I’d really love to see your answer. It can be big and grand, but I bet it’ll show up small and simple. Take a picture in the moment today or scroll through pictures from earlier this year. Post with the hashtag #seethegood2020 and tag me. Show me what you see! (I’ll share a few of your posts.)⁣ ⁣ The good is already here. Let’s remember to look for it now so we can one day look back and remember.⁣ ⁣ (Do you follow @jenniferdukeslee? If not, you might want to check the P.S. in the comments. 😂) #kaitlynsees2020
It just seems like taking a selfie on my birthday It just seems like taking a selfie on my birthday is the actual least I can do for my “send me a picture!” mom… seeing as, you know, she went through labor and such. So — happy Monday and happy selfie and happy birthday to me. 😂⁣ ⁣ I’ve never done this before but 2020 seems like a good one for it. 7 things from year 27:⁣ ⁣ 📦 I moved.⁣ ⁣ 🎄 I put the tree back up in April when the world shut down (Happy Christmas and Merry Easter).⁣ ⁣ 👩🏻‍💻 I managed book launch teams for 18 new releases.⁣ ⁣ 🙌🏻 I celebrated 10 years brain tumor free.⁣ ⁣ ♥️ I said “see you soon” to Pap-Pop.⁣ ⁣ 🧵 I started / finished my first embroidery hoop.⁣ ⁣ 📚 I read 84 books.⁣ ⁣ Bonus because although it’s obvious, it’s worth documenting: I experienced my first (and hopefully only) global pandemic. 😳🦠⁉️🧻🤳🏻 📆😅🔥🙅🏻‍♀️🙏🏻🙃⁣ ⁣ If 27 taught me anything, it’s that I sure don’t know what tomorrow will bring… and so perhaps the best thing I can do is love well right here, being present in today, while trusting the future to the One who holds it.⁣ ⁣ I’m curious 👉🏻 would you share in the comments as a birthday gift to me? I’d love to know: what is one thing you’d like to tell your 28-year-old self?
Back when the phrase “unprecedented times” mea Back when the phrase “unprecedented times” meant exactly nothing to me, I wrote down several truths to hold onto as a response to a really difficult personal, not global, situation. I scrolled back a good ways yesterday, searching for a quote for a writing project, and stumbled on those words from 2018.⁣ ⁣ It turns out the truth is still true.⁣ ⁣ A global pandemic? 9 months (and counting) without entering a church building? Grabbing dinner to go and not thinking twice about seeing masks on mannequins in the store window next door?⁣ ⁣ 2020 has held changes we never saw coming and as simple as the words are, today I’m just really grateful that in all of it, God hasn’t changed.⁣ ⁣ We can sing into the night, believing that praise is a weapon and He will be our light. He leads the way and He goes behind. He comes close and stays with. Storms will come and the waters will rise, but we won’t drown. We can stand before a giant and declare victory in His strength, knowing the battle is already won. It is done. Done! We won’t be overcome. This isn’t ignorance or denial — this is remembering. This is trusting He is a way-making, promise-keeping, battle-winning, water-walking, storm-stilling faithful friend and savior. He was then. He is now. Forever He will be.
Another bill arrived from the appointment without Another bill arrived from the appointment without answers. I opened it with frustration and a little bit of dread. Unfolding the paper, I stared at $0.00 and said “Really? Nothing? They won't cover even one penny?” to an empty room. I sighed, contacted my insurance company, and wrote another check.⁣ ⁣ I wouldn’t have told you any of this except that two days later, a note arrived from the author of one of the book launch teams I’m managing. My breath caught as I read the last sentence:⁣ ⁣ “You’re worth every penny.”⁣ ⁣ The words are very kind, no doubt about it. They would have meant a lot on any day of any month of any year. But more than the phrase, though I’ll 100% hold onto that too, it’s the timing and the specifics. The details. Before I held a bill, someone else picked up the pen and mailed a note.⁣ ⁣ A friend called after my initial doctor’s appointment to say she was proud of me for making the call, for showing up, and for saying I’m worth the cost of the bill. That might sound really strange, but she’s an enneagram 2… so she knew. She recognized the mental/emotional wrestling to show up for yourself like you would for your people. She knew the thoughts that might come. (Was this even worth it? Was I worth it? What a waste of money etc etc etc)⁣ ⁣ Sometimes the God who put on flesh shows up in your mailbox to remind you of Truth. Paid in full a long, long time ago.⁣ ⁣ I’m guessing someone needs to hear it today, too. 👉🏻 Believe it for yourself… God already does. You’re worth every penny.⁣ ⁣ (@marygeisen, your note will be saved for a long time. Thank you. 💛)
A burning bush on a Monday morning. It’s a mirac A burning bush on a Monday morning. It’s a miracle: God is with us. Here. Now. Always. Grace and peace to you this week. ♥️
There’s a simmering, a hand-wringing happening, There’s a simmering, a hand-wringing happening, and I keep coming back to these words. Somehow knowing that He already knows, has always known, settles the simmer inside and stills my racing mind.⁣ ⁣ That isn’t to say the outcome of this election doesn’t matter, because it does in a lot of very real ways. But it reminds me that God is not shocked or scared, fearful or worried about what this page of the story will say. The headlines are not breaking, the news is not new, and He’s well aware of all the coming days will hold because He already holds them.⁣ ⁣ There’s a promise from way back when but it’s also for here and now: “Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.”⁣ ⁣ The first time I came across 1 Peter 5 in the Message version, I gasped out loud and then read it over and over. I’m so quick to be full of cares, and all the while God is full of care — for me. For you.⁣ ⁣ A few verses later it says “Keep a firm grip on the faith… He gets the last word. Yes, He does.”⁣ ⁣ There will soon be Another Thing to wring our hands over. And there will be a God who holds us in His own, who is the Word and gets the final word.⁣ ⁣ There and then, here and now. God won’t be surprised, but He will be faithful.
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